Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 14

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July 14: National Surrender Day (France)

  • 1789 - French citizens storm the Bastille, a large prison, and free seven prisoners who were wrongly incarcerated after being accused of that most heinous of crimes in France: being English.
  • 1798 - The Sedition Act becomes United States law, making it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or malicious statements about the U.S. government. The Uncyclopedia farm is raided, and several prized bovine are tipped over.
  • 1969 - The United States removes all large bills from circulation, much to the dismay of the legendary Salmon P. Chase (the face of the $10,000 bill) and his adoring fans.
  • 1974 - It's Christmas, Folks, and Just Look at the Mess We've Made by John Lennon reached number one on the charts.
  • 1982 - Matteo Mossini is born. And in 2010 he'll be one of the most annoying person in the known world. Happy birthday, Mox.
  • 2000 - A powerful solar flare, later named the Bastille Day Event, causes a geomagnetic storm on Earth. The French immediately surrender to the sun and agree to a two-year occupation of Paris, much to the chagrin of French sunblock and parasol manufacturers.
  • 2007 - A breakthrough study shows that those who read often are actually better at reading than those who seldom read.
  • 2008 - A second breakthrough study shows that those who seldom read are better at not reading than those who read often.
  • 2009 - A third breakthrough study shows that those who read often are worse at reading when those who seldom read deprive the former of their pretentious glasses.
  • 2010 - A fourth breakthrough study shows that those who read often do not know how to read, while those who seldom read are contributors to Uncyclopedia.
  • 2011 - A fifth breakthrough study shows that breakthrough studies get annoying fairly quickly.
  • 2012 - Nothing because the world has exploded and you are gonzo.
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