January 8: National Discrimination Day
Smack, Smack, don't touch my Smack!
450,000,000,000 BC - "Earfh" is created, but is quickly destroyed and replaced with the current Earth as simply correcting the typo on the planning form requires two months notice. Dinosaurs die as a result
33 - Jesus begins his steady decline
1815 - Andrew Jackson forgets that the war is over and utterly destroys the British Army. Fortunately, America forgives him and treats him as a predecessor to Rambo
1942 - Henry Ford declares his alleigence to Adolf Hitler's dictatorship, also bids to improve customer service
1967 - Martin Luther King Jr. dies of a tragic M&M overdose
2009 - Kellogg's continues to conquer the cereal market with Smack after finally dropping the honey flavouring and just selling it straight up.
2010 - The popular children's story that an apple a day keeps the doctor away is discovered to be false; research published in the Daily Mail shows it instead speeds up genital wart formation