Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 3

January 3: Feast of St Wallet

Twins separated at birth?

0001 - Dawn of the Final Day (24 hours remain.)
0003 - First payday after Christmas. The family breadwinner may heave the ritual sigh of relief and start saving for next Christmas.
1922 - Ottoman Empire decides to get out of the land business and focus on relief for calves.
1947 - Saddam Hussein and Mel Gibson are born.
1948 - Mel Gibson is deported to Australia and abusing a meat grinder.
1974 - The Keebler Elves go on strike claiming the working conditions of the tree are " Uncommonly Horrid" and demand a union. Ernie Keebler hires several Smurfs to scab in their place.
1992 - Nirvana releases "Come As You Are" as a single. Pathetic guitar players every where rejoice at being able to have a song they can strum while playing Dungeons & Dragons.
2004 - CBS declares victory on "The War On Ratings" after crushing that gay peacock network.
2016 - The second coming of The War on Drugs begins after pissed off Americans move to Canada to start living in what they dub "flavor country." Otherwise known as Quebec.