Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 22

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January 22: National Cover-Up Day (USA)

  • 1012 - The second coming did not happen.
  • 1492 - Nothing happened. You didn't see anything, so it doesn't count.
  • 1776 - The United States of America was always unquestionably free.
  • 1812 - We had reasonable cause to attack.
  • 1847 - The United States retaliated against a Mexican surprise attack.
  • 1861 - The United States was always united.
  • 1917 - The United States irrefutably wins World War I in late-inning heartstopper.
  • 1945 - The United States irrefutably wins World War II in extra time. Germans claim the ball had not crossed the line. England don't care.
  • 1965 - The United States irrefutably wins the Vietnam War in seven games.
  • 1974 - President Nixon finishes out his "optional" term of office.
  • 2001 - Heavy winds cause the World Trade Center towers to weaken.
  • 2003 - The United States irrefutably wins the War in Iraq in a 4-game whitewash.
  • 2005 - It is the policy of this Administration not to discuss ongoing investigations.
  • 2006 - Global Warming? What Global Warming?
  • 2007 - There is no Grand Conspiracy.
  • 2012 - The world will not end.
  • 9999 - Nothing will happen. Quite boring.
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