Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 1

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January 1: International Apocalypse Day/Day of the Resurrection of the Triple Mocha Latte (Church of Latte-Day Saints)

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A picture of the universe in 2010.

  • 5,985,895,625 BC -- First new year ever, subatomic particles celebrate by moving.
  • 0 - Jesus invents time
  • 1 - Dawn of the First Day (72 hours remain).
  • 1 (1 hour later) - Man gets drunk and fails new years resolutions.
  • 404 - The day when the sky went blank; the first 404 error in history takes place, sending a lethal shockwave into the farthest corners of the Milky way.
  • 666 - End of the world doesn't occur. Many people are all like "WTF?"
  • 777- The Triple Mocha Latte comes back from the dead.... and this time, it's back with a vengence
  • 1912 - Women learn how to vote.
  • 1954 - Second World War begins (Canada only).
  • 1960 - One-year anniversary of 1959 is celebrated.
  • 1991 - George Bush (Sr.) overthrows the US government and establishes himself as the Emperor of America.
  • 2000 - Leonard Bernstein is mauled to death by his psychotic bear parents.
  • 2001 - The four horseman of the apocalypse race in the UK Grand national. War wins by a head.
  • 2001 - The cable TV channel "Nickelodeon" goes completely down the fucking toilet.
  • 2008 - The attack of the 500 foot Jesus begins.
  • 2013 - Everyone wakes up to realize the world didn't end; vengeful god proceeds to destroy planet.
  • 2048 - The fears over Y2KB are dismissed, and everyone resumes normal activities.
  • 3000 - Fry gets de-freezed. Makes friends with a suicidal robot.
  • 10000 - IT consultants fail to fix Year 10000 bug. People have come to expect this from Microsoft by now...
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