January 12: Political Correctness Throughout History Day.
- 6780 BC - Fred Flintstone appears on the Jerry Springer special "I Married My Pet"
- 1 - Original Jesus is circumcised. Hilarity ensues and Godwin's Law is quickly invoked
- 1853 - Archibald Schtumpf is killed during an autoerotic experience with the newly invented hydraulic knitting machine
- 1863 - Abraham Lincoln frees the blacks for the first time, denies political motivation and insists "some guy" will prove his point "in a couple years"
- 1944 - German-Jewish health and beauty products Finale Solution Shower Cream and Calamity by Calvin Klein are withdrawn due to falling sales
- 1991 - George Bush Sr. reintroduces slavery after mishearing a joke told a a White House dinner
- 1994 - Clinton comes to the aid of America and kills slavery yet again, right after having a quick visit through the typing pool
- 2010 - Devastating earthquake in Haiti kills 310,000 people. Yeah, that happened, remember?