Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 1

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January 1: International "Let's Get Hammered!" Day, not including Saudi Arabia

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A picture of the universe in 2010.

  • 5,985,895,625 BC -- Satan invents time. God steals Satan's invention, kicks him in the nuts, and begins creating the blueprint for humanity.
  • 0 - Worldwide fireworks displays celebrating new year mistaken for creation of light by God
  • 404 - First time predictions of apocalypse found to be untrue, as global 404 Error does not occur
  • 1912 - Women learn how to vote, albeit through the strict instruction of men
  • 1954 - Second World War begins (Canada only)
  • 1991 - George Bush Sr. overthrows the US government and establishes himself as Emperor of America.
  • 2000 - Y2k bug fails to destroy internet, few disappointed
  • 2013 - Everyone wakes up to realize the world didn't end; vengeful god blames misprinted calender
  • 3000 - Fry gets defrosted, makes friends with a suicidal robot
  • 10000 - IT consultants fail to fix Y2K 2: Electric Boogaloo. People have come to expect this from Microsoft by now...
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