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February 9: International Tourettes Day
- 1012 - Anglo-Saxons tell the Normans to ASSFACE their ASSFACE with a ASSFACE.
- 1066 - In the Battle of Hastings, ASSFACE happens.
- 1222 - ASSFACE.
- 1492 - Christopher Columbus begins his first journey across the Atlantic, and gets ASSFACE.
- 1812 - Canada and The United States go to ASSFACE war. Nobody notices.
- 1994 - I was born
- 2005 - After placing her pen on the table, Keira Knightley was then seen to ASSFACE fall asleep.
- 2008 - Steve ASSFACE Ballmer plans not to FUCKING KILL™ people, but to ASSFACEING KILL™ them instead.
- 2009 - Dick Cheney dies. ASSFACE.