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February 9: International Tourettes Day
- 1012 - Anglo-Saxons tell the Normans to MASTURBATION their MASTURBATION with a MASTURBATION.
- 1066 - In the Battle of Hastings, MASTURBATION happens.
- 1222 - MASTURBATION.
- 1492 - Christopher Columbus begins his first journey across the Atlantic, and gets MASTURBATION.
- 1812 - Canada and The United States go to MASTURBATION war. Nobody notices.
- 1994 - I was born
- 2005 - After placing her pen on the table, Keira Knightley was then seen to MASTURBATION fall asleep.
- 2008 - Steve MASTURBATION Ballmer plans not to FUCKING KILL™ people, but to MASTURBATIONING KILL™ them instead.
- 2009 - Dick Cheney dies. MASTURBATION.