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- 2000 BC - Masturbation is invented...repeatedly.
- 1336 - Men wonder what the dangly thing is between their legs...
- 1337 - Penises discovered. Men worldwide decide to stand up to go to the toilet.
- 1338 - Women invent Penis Envy.
- 1658 - Bestiality killed the cat.
- 1992 - Men realised that standing up to go to the toilet was ineffective when taking a dump. Urinal created for urinating purposes only
- 2009 - New Genny installed that caused a 12 hour outage!!
- 2010 - Teabagging becomes new US national sport
- 2011 - Your Mom moves to America, but only for the sports
- 2054 - Penises are abolished.