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Dog shame 02

February 12: World Write in Graeco-Latin Day (Graeco-Rome)

  • 544 BCE - Greek becomes the language of commerce and government in the eastern Mediterranean areas, Latin in the west. Most people in both areas would continue to curse and scream in their native languages. Confused fish in the Aegean Sea would just wing it.
  • 310 BCE - Ouidis cognis qui, ma Helle-Romanis di est non iubil.
  • 311 BCE - Id qua.
  • 299 BCE - Graeco-Latin Squares first appears as a game show in the Mediterranean area, with pairs of famous Greeks and Romans in each square, with contestants attempting to determine if answers given to questions are true or not. Leonhard Euler would later figure out the optimum strategy, spoiling it all.
  • 83 BCE - Greeks train a huge army of vicious anteaters to attack Carthage, marching them into the sea to secretly attack the port and shipping. Results are mixed as thousands of dead anteaters block the harbor entrance though survivors sweep Carthage clean of ants.
  • 3+3=3 - Rutty, toot, toot, toot'n Graeco-Labrador fiesta!
  • 415 - The polymath Hypatia of Alexandria is killed by a mob for asking, "Didn't we just celebrate this holiday yesterday?"
  • 444 - "Yo' momma." – Attila the Hun.
  • 888 - With no one left, the barbarians invade Rome for the sake of it.
  • 999 - To commemorate this loss, Graeco-Latin Day is celebrated. We just wanted to tell you the history first.
  • 1346 - The trireme is abandoned in favor of sailing ships after the song Row, row, row your boat makes its unwanted appearance.
  • 1809 - The holy profit of evolutionism, Charles Darwin is born.
  • 1898 - Graeco-Roman wrestling is introduced into the Olympics, moved from sofas in darkened parlors and back seats of carriages.
  • 2001 - In honor of the invention of Greek fire, Canadians invent Arcade Fire.
  • 2012 - Etruscans return from outer space to place flaming bags of poo on archaeologists' doorsteps.