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Who is Spartacus

December 7: Official Who the Hell Is Spartacus Day

  • Little did they know that I'm Spartacus.
  • No, I'm Spartacus!
  • I'm Spartacus!
  • No, I am!
  • Hence the search...
  • 72 BCE - People stop naming their children Spartacus as they don't want them hanging around the sides of roads.
  • 878 - The magnifying glass is perfected. Thousands of ants would die before anything really useful would be done with it.
  • 1209 - The Albigensian Crusade begins as Pope Innocent III tries to find both Spartacus and some ready cash and property.
  • 1500 - The search for Spartacus continues. Columbus is imprisoned for failing to find him.
  • 1936 - Buddy Holly is born in Texas; this is also known as "The Day That Will Live in Infancy".
  • 1982 - Mr T (not pictured) claims in his autobiography Pity the Fool that he was Spartacus. Historians refute this claim.
  • 1987 - "Where's Wally?" (in North America, "Where's Waldo?") turns out to be a thinly disguised attempt to find Spartacus. Carmen Sandiego comes under suspicion as well.
  • 1995 - The band Sparklehorse is founded by the long-lost descendant of Spartacus.
  • 2005 - Uncyclopedia becomes littered with Spartacus jokes written by Oscar Wilde and Chuck Norris.
  • 2017 - US President Donald Trump imprisons all Jews in order to make them reveal the location of Spartacus, with predictable results as he never watched the movie.