Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 5
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December 5: International Day of Unusual Spam, International Tapeworm Awareness Day (TWAD)
- 1 - God created the universe at a 25% deal.
- 666 - Shiva tells the people of India that they will die if they do not enlarge their manhood and reproduce, thus becoming one of the largest populations. Vishnu and Brahma get a cheap thrill out of watching the sex.
- 785 - King Arthur's vision of the Holy Grail is accompanied by the words "Grail! This can be yours FREE!"
- 999 - Amid predictions of the Apocalypse, European peasants receive anonymous notes offering "hot deals on ultra-sexy self-flagellation gear."
- 1791 - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart chokes on his dentures during a live performance and dies. Antonio Salieri frantically tries to dislodge them from Mozart's throat using his clarinet but only succeeds in driving them in farther. "I feel awful" he is quoted as saying.
- 1793 - Joseph Marie Jacquard is taught weaving by a super-intelligent tapeworm named Steve.
- 1929 - Baurhaus designs the new age spam only to have plans delayed by 60 years.
- 1939 - Adolf Hitler's letter to Neville Chamberlain is headed "PEACE NOW 25% off
- 1983 - Andre the Giant beats The Green Giant, and therefore won a lifetime supply of Spam.
- 1984 - Feed The Welsh, Elasto-Pop's charity single, is released.
- 1987 - Oh crap, I have a math test today...
- 2003 - Bush declares war on spam after receiving excessive unbiblical porn in his inbox.
- 2004 - Britney Spears 100% Fully Clothed Pics spam email used.
- 2005 - Websites everywhere become littered with "Get Firefox" buttons.
- 2006 - Did you know everything has subliminal messages? EAT POPCORN!
