Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 2

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Latest revision as of 22:08, November 2, 2011

VikingSoap

December 2: International Boring Nordic Culture Heritage Day

  • 6000 BC - Mankind born from the toil of an ice giant melting to the ocean. At least that's what Viking creationists say.
  • 432 - Thor gets arrested in Valhalla after being accused of destroying an orphanage while Drunk Chariot Driving. Embarrassed, the Nordic people begin converting to Christianity.
  • 793 - Vikings visit Lindisfarne Abbey in Northern England, bringing home a suspicious amount of souvenirs.
  • 900 - Erik the Red, a Viking explorer and real estate agent, discovers a big block of ice, utterly unsuitable for human life. He gives it the name 'Greenland' to attract customers.
  • 957 - A third Denmarks population dies victim of the mysterious axe in the head plague.
  • 966 - Vikings reach Constantinople, bringing home alabaster chess sets and cheap carpets as souvenirs.
  • 1000 - Explorer and murderer Leif Erikson discovers America, but realizes his mistake in time and lets Columbus and Vespucci have all the blame.
  • 1429 - Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, decides not to be, and disappeares immediately.
  • 1755 - Danish pastries are first introduced to non-Danes.
  • 1859 - Hans Christian Andersen writes The Emperor Is A Nudist, a beloved fairy tale.
  • 1916 - Europe at war. Swedes have an excellent game of bridge.
  • 1940 - Europe at war again. Swedes read a lot of good books.
  • 2010 - Bruce Willis is declared legally bald.
  • 2009 - God kills three (3) men, each named Jeff.
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