1939 - Adolf Hitler becomes frustrated when Germany's top scientists fail to invent the artificial vagina
1944 - Winston Churchill invents the artificial vagina and is hailed a hero. Hitler is crushed by this and committed suicide several months later
1945 - Josef Stalin invents Soviet artificial vagina, one hundred times younger, tighter, prettier and tastier than Churchill's. Long live Comrade Stalin! Long live the artificial vagina! Long live the Revolution! Long live the Workers, who can now wank with greater realism than the downtrodden hand-dependents of the Capitalist world! Down with Churchill! Down with Capitalism! Down with Marks and Spencers! Down with Facism! Down with Debenhams and Waitrose! Down with hands, tissues and vaseline!
1954 - Nikita Khrushchev condemns Stalin's Soviet artificial vagina, saying it screwed the lonely and single.
1954 - Nikita Khrushchev is promply "dealt with" by the KGB. Long live the glorious Soviet Union!
1969 - Boxing Day causes many deaths from internal bleeding as its meaning is misinterpreted.
1990 - World Peace War declared on UNO by UNO members
1999 - Eye losht thie annyoual seplling be tanks two thie vord anywarsary.
2004 - Deciding that he does like Mondays, Chuck Norris kicks Bob Geldoff into tomorrow
2005 - 5th anniversary of the universe exploding violently.
2007 - Major cleanup after Boxes from Boxing day wipeout half the human population.
2008 - King Kong does Eeyore in the honey tree, Donkey Kong is born!
2009 - People discover what boxing day is actually about, it is promptly canceled.