Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 26

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Latest revision as of 22:09, November 2, 2011

Boxing Day

December 26: Packaging Day/ Useless office memorandum day / The one day women poop. It smells like roses. International Go to the Pub all afternoon and Have a row with the Missus Day

  • The 3rd day of creation - God creates the useless memorandum
  • 0 - Rudolph catches everlasting cold after night out, condemned to permanent red nose.
  • 17 - Jesus recovers from a "wicked birthday hangover" and cleans up the house before his parents get home.
  • 35 - Stephen the Protomartyr gets stoned off his ass.
  • 931 - Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen; when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even;
  • 2002 - Last recorded Vowel movement for God. In an indirect response to this anniversary, God decides to take out His frustration on His rich children every year after-wizard.
  • 2003 - Devastating spongecake in Ham because they owned too many fairy cakes, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2004 - Realising he has nothing to bitch about Bob Geldoff creates devastating Tsunami.
  • 2004 - Devastating toffee in Southeast Asia because they owned too many fudges, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2004 - The idea for Deal or No Deal created on Boxing Day after Noel Edmonds was trapped in a box, the producer of the show opening it and gasping, before thinking 'hey, why don't we do that with something valuable in the boxes?'
  • 2005 - Devastating jam tarts in Central America because they owned too many biscuits, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2006 - Devastating shelves falling over in Iceland because they owned too many products, and some hooligans tipped them over.
  • 2007 - Mars destroyed during the War of the Worlds, because there were too many martians and God ran out of ways to make them pay, but the bacteria killed them.
  • 2008 - Mars destroyed bacause the Bible has no recorded evidence of Martians, and God makes it pay.
  • 2009 - Devastating red hole wipes out universe, and God makes no two pay.
  • 2010 - Devastating white hole wipes out red hole, and God makes no one pay.
  • 2011 - Devastating white hole wipes out God, leaving no one to make no one pay.
  • 6325 - Despite the discovery of the lost pelvis of Richard Belzer, our world still sucks.
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