1776 - Tremendous backup on the Scudder Falls Bridge on I-95 going from Pennsylvania into New Jersey as George Washington's motorcade travels from last-minute gift-buying at the shopping malls of King of Prussia, near Valley Forge, to find a smoke-free restaurant in Trenton for their Christmas dinner.
2005 - George Bush officially renames Christmas as Bushmas to honour his war against grammar.
2006 - In Finland, Santa still depicted in green. Rest of the world still confused.
2008 - Santa is charged with kidnapping children and taking them to his grotto. He is soon released with the help of Michael Jackson's lawyers.
2009 - Christmas cancelled after Santa Claus files for bankruptcy.
2010 - Santa shoots redneck hick with his own gun in self-defence. He is arrested under the charges of trespassing, and sentenced to 5673 years of slave labour, after others complain about his trespassing.