- 1 - Some important guy is almost born.
- 1214 - Ye Olde Barter Shoppe in York offers first Christmas sale ever. However, it is marred by protests for using the word sale.
- 1632 - As if anything was going to happen in the 1600s.
- 1777 - Captain James Cook discovers a new island, which by an incredible coincidence happens to be named Christmas Island (what are the odds?).
- 1865 - Some Civil War veterans take the idea of a "White Christmas" a bit too far.
- 1895 - A man invents a new kind of poison. Somehow, neither him nor the poison were heard from again.
- 1914 - During the Christmas Truce, British and German soldiers take a break from killing each other, in order to celebrate Peace on Earth.
- 1929 - Hitler freaks out because he forgot to buy a Jewish friend a present, and then attempts to 'cover up' for it.
- 1934 - The boomerang declared the gayest invention ever. The joke being that it isn't straight. Hur-hur.
- 1968 - NASA fakes the first manned mission to orbit the Moon - Apollo 8.
- 1974 - God sends Cyclone Tracy to destroy most of Darwin, Australia for having the nerve to be named after that evolution guy.
- 1975 - Canadians attempt to invade the United States but run into a street hockey game, then proceed to change their minds.
- 1977 - The Goodies blow up the world
- 1984 - Santa Claus fulfills prophecy as he dies for the sins of mankind, to give man eternal presents
- 1995 - Tim Allen declares that he wishes he was really Santa Claus.
- 1997 - There is nearly an outbreak of Zombies, however the whole thing is prevented on account of people having seen way too many zombie movies, and just closing their doors.
- 2009 - A pickle receives more fans on Facebook than Nickelback.
- 2012 - According to Aztec / Inca / anything-to-do-with-South-American mythology, we were due to instantly die a few days ago. The President is also attacked by a baboon.
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