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December 19: You Want Some of THIS! Day (Detroit, MI), Beginning of Blueberry Harvest Season, Hitler steals my bike. I took a monster dump.
- 927 - The Brits conquered and killed all the Engs but named the country England as a sign of good sportsmanship.
- 1219 - Some Random Middle Aged Guy could've figured out that the year and day were the same (12/19/1219) but he was in the Middle Ages and thus was too busy jousting. Then the nigga he was joustling stole hisbike.
- 1912 - Some Random Middle Aged Gentleman from Britain realises that the year and day were also the same, (19/12/1912) and commemorates his 693-yr old American ancestor by pillaging, drinking and regretting [it].
- 1939 - Hitler freaks out, realizing he only has six days left of Christmas shopping left. Then not one, but 6 Million niggas steal his bike and escape his 'hood.
- 1974 - International Christmas Day announced (observed by the Internation Foundation of Kids Who Can't Wait Another Week)
- 1976 - Radical X was created by his mother in MS Paint. Then a nigga steals his bike.
- 2001 - Michael Flatley Gay Porn music and dance extravaganza Lord of the Rings released to largely horrified reception.
- 2005 - National "Write the word 'gay' really long day" begins on spoof encyclopedia-related website. Then a Hitler steals his bike.
- 2006 - That Guy appears. Again. And he dies. The leader of the GOOAH is poisoned.
- 2017 - Mike Ditka saves the world from Vin Diesel anti-chavs. Then a nigga steals his bike.
- 2018 - Chuck Norris saves the world from Mike Ditka when the Roundhouse (London) kicks him in the foot. Whitney Houston gains intelligence and steals Chuck's bike.
- 2019 - Mr T destroys the world from Chuck Norris by hitting him so hard that Chuck becomes aware of all of his floors and saves his own life. Then Oprah comes and steals Mr. T's bike, which he stole from Whitney Houston, which she stole from Vin Disel, which he stole from a gay, which he stole from a nigga, which he stole from Radical X, which he stole from the Jews, which they stole from Hitler, which he stole from a random middle age guy.