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Revision as of 18:33, December 15, 2008 by Sockpuppet of an unregistered user
- 1200 BC - "Oh my god! I love those boots! Where did you get them? I have to get a pair!
- 0 - Nothingness.
- 1485 - The Renaissance man is created when Leonardo DaVinci gets pissed off at all those dammned deadlines set by everyone. Tell your local polymath to calm down, nobody wants another one of these things roaming the earth.
- 1942 - Capitalism claims responsibility for the murder of 12,000 children
- 1969 - In response to the San Francisco Exhibition Incident of 1969, the United Nations imposes a world-wide ban on suicide by pointless drivel, the only death penalty enforced by the UN.
- 1978 - Massive grease fire at the Grease Hut burns on for hours. The little boy who lives down the street falls into it and is incinerated, while the management feels just awful about it.
- 1993 - Scotland invades Europe, first use of Haggis Device. Mass confusion follows as Haggis Device powered by Kilt-Wearin' Mofo. Charlie Weatherby is born, lots of people scream in terror and commit suicide by chocolate.
- 1994 - Foundation of New Björk City. Swedish chef goes Björk Björk Björk!.
- 2005 - Stan formed, ruled by Stan in the Empire of Stan.
- 2005 - Roughly estimated to be the founding of the Neo Illuminati. Due to temporal manipulation technology, the date could be off as much as 400 eons, 356 years, 11 months, 43 weeks, 3 days, 2 hours, 55 minutes, 34 seconds, and 2 picoseconds.
- 2006 - John Dies at the End
- 2007 - End of the world at midnight, New Mexico. Michael Travesser's cult commit mass suicide, probably, or something. he had sex with little girls and loads of married women, yet it's all about his sacrifice, isn't it.