- 1229 - Pope Gregory IX deletes thirty-one days from the Gregorian calendar, during a Florentine siege of Rome that had prevented toiletries from entering the city.
- 1841 - Oscar Wilde imprisoned for practicing heterosexuality in England without a Royal permit, a capital offense.
- 1941 - Germany and Italy celebrate for the first and last time "Let's Go To War With Russia Day." Italians and Germans regret this decision by 1945.
- 1941 - Mao Zedong suggests to rename "Chinese demographic boom" to "Yelow bang". Due to unpopularity of this idea among his generals, all of them were executed.
- 1953 - Trans-dimensional squirrels attempt a coup on the Kremlin but are driven back after the Soviets break wind in unison, creating a tear in the fabric of the universe into which the invaders are obliterated, nuts and all.
- 1983 - A passenger airlines goes Boom over the South China Sea. Only the pilots and hostesses survive after they are seen moments before the explosion floating in a rubber dingy thousands of miles below. Thank you for flying AirChina.
- 2005 - Face of Oscar Wilde is seen in a frozen pizza
- 2009 - All forms of international combat are banned by the UN. From this point on, international disputes are decided by caged death matches between the leaders of conflicting nations.
- 2009 - Annual 'Try Communism Day' is celebrated by the people of Lancashire
- 2010 - Lancashire appoints Ted Dansen as Director of the Communist Party
- 2011 - President Ted Stevens brutally beats Hu Jintao to death in a cage match, completing his domination and conquest of every country on Earth. Ban of weaponry two years earlier regarded as "a mistake" by most UN officials not already killed by Ted Stevens.
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