200,000,000,000,000,000 BC - God Creates existence. By creating existence, and simultaniously existing before existance, He created a paradox that came alive and tore a hole in the universe. Out of that hole, several thousand extremely surprised roadside diner waitresses named "Tiff" floated and suddenly (and not that surprisingly) died of asphyxiation.
12,032 BC - Wheel was invented by Sally and Bill Thompson from Scunthorpe UK.
2040 - After 60 years of pointless debates from 2 sides which both have truth, creationists and evolutionists come together once again and finally agree that God created evolution. There is now peace on earth and everyone lives happily ever after :-)