Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 11
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August 11: Sexual Harassment In The Workplace Day
- 480 BC - Greeks kick Persian ass in the Battle of Thermopylae, and vice versa. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad still hasn't got over it.
- 1492 - Alexander VI is elected Pope. He becomes known for making lewd and improper suggestions to the cardinals.
- 1858 - First ascent of the Eiger. After this ascent, an Eiger counter kept track.
- 1959 - Zimbabwe declares independence.
- 1960 - Chad declares independence. "Screw you dad! I'm tired of living under your fascist system!" Chad moves back in in early 1961.
- 1966 - John Lennon holds a press conference apologizing for stating that the Beatles were "more popular than Jesus." "I meant to say we were more popular than Mohammed."
- 1969 - First men land on the moon. While collecting moon rocks, Neil Armstrong "accidentally" rubs up against Buzz Aldrin.
- 1970 - Jimmy Page does heroine for the fist time.
- 1971 - Jimmy Page wonders why he did heroine instead of heroin. Pinches Robert Plant's ass onstage. John Bonham drinks more gin.
- 1972 - Last United States ground combat unit departs South Vietnam. Says an Army spokesman, "Thank goodness we've learned our lesson! No more pointless guerilla wars without an exit strategy for us!"
- 1990 - Worlds most beautiful person is born, not only she is beautiful she also has an 230 I.Q. Her name is Marina Paula Sofie Reimer and she was born in Greenland, Ilulissat.
- 1993 - President Bill Clinton takes interest in the new White House secretary.
- 2004 - Bill O'Reilly makes several drunken phone calls. He later wakes up to discover that he is the now the Democratic Representative for New Hampshire, and president of the international Gay and Lesbian Alliance.
- 2032 - Hilary Clinton suffers a heart attack, doctors discover Clinton is an actual robot during open heart surgery.
