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April 7: Beat your Spouse into a Bloody Pulp Day (Antartica)
- 65,000,000 BC - Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins
- 1067 - the first ever Battle of Hastings re-enactment is fought.
- 1544 - Queen Elizabeth I starts her famous celebrity gossip column in The Times
- 1741 - The War of Jenkins' Ear spreads down to his legs.
- 1906 - Mt. Vesuvius erupts due to a bout of tectonic indigestion.
- 1954 - Jackie Chan born, Kung-fu kicks Your Mom
- 1969 - The Beatles publish their greatest work, the Communist Manifesto.
- 1988 - Sheryl Crow breaks $15,000 worth of crockery with one wave of her baseball bat.
- 2004 - Mike Tyson gets beaten with a three-round TKO by Jaleel White. Vegas bookies go bankrupt after millions place bet on Erkel.
- 2007 - Every Mozambique woman across Mozambiquia, burns down their houses in an act of defiance against the evil rule of Captain Birdseye.
- 2009 - Madonna adopts her 20th child from Africa.