Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 7

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April 7: Beat your Spouse into a Bloody Pulp Day (Antartica)

• 65,000,000 BC - Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins
• 1067 - the first ever Battle of Hastings re-enactment is fought.
• 1544 - Queen Elizabeth I starts her famous celebrity gossip column in The Times
• 1906 - Mt. Vesuvius erupts due to a bout of tectonic indigestion.
• 1954 - Jackie Chan born, Kung-fu kicks Your Mom
• 1969 - The Beatles publish their greatest work, the Communist Manifesto.
• 1988 - Sheryl Crow breaks $15,000 worth of crockery with one wave of her baseball bat.
• 2004 - Mike Tyson gets beaten with a three-round TKO by Jaleel White. Vegas bookies go bankrupt after millions place bet on Erkel.
• 2007 - Every Mozambique woman across Mozambiquia, burns down their houses in an act of defiance against the evil rule of Captain Birdseye.
• 2009 - Madonna adopts her 20th child from Africa.