Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 6

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Lolomedusa

April 6: Arson Wednesday in the Nihilist Church of New Zealand

  • 648 BC - Earliest solar eclipse first recorded by Ancient Greeks quickly followed by large earthquake, suicide, and disease.
  • 1 AD - Baby Jesus flips off a goat, and the judges give him a 9.65.
  • 612 - Arab popstar Mohammed declares he is more popular than Jesus now.
  • 1522 - Mary had a little lamb. Yankee Doodle claims to be father.
  • 1593 - John Greenwood, English Congressionalist, hanged. His last words: "Get this fucking rope off of me!"
  • 1895 - Oscar Wilde was arrested in London for "acts of gross indecency". You can't make this stuff up.
  • 1896 - First modern olympic doping scandal discovered at Athens games.
  • 1900 - 20th Century is first described as "the worst ever".
  • 1999 - Chinese Democracy is released and subsequently pulled off shelves after the US Gov't denies reports of its existence.
  • 1917 - The USA declares war on germs.
  • 1934 - The first perpetual motion machine goes on sale in Pennsyltucky.
  • 1935 - AT&T formed. Its first disgruntled customer is created moments later.
  • 1955 - Hell freezes over, Devil skates to work.
  • 1957 - Three children die in Nuclear Attack after trying to hide in fake refrigerators.
  • 1985 - Video gaming is first cited as a precursor to juvenile delinquency.
  • 1992 - Fire reinvented due to poor quality performance.
  • 1992 - Isaac Asimov's batteries finally wear down. Perhaps the world's most famous robot, Asimov served more than 20 years on the [U.S.S. Enterprise]] under Captain Picard.
  • 1994 - Kurt Cobain's attempt to win a posthumous Grammy backfires tragically.
  • 1994 - Cyprian Niayamira, president of Burundi (1993-94), assassinated.
  • 1998 - Tom Jones Industrial Average closes above 9,000 for the first time.
  • 1999 - Billy Joel begins to amass his mole army beginning his inevitable rise to world domination.
  • 2009 - The creation of the Snuggler - to help solve world problems and heal terminally ill people back to health by snuggling.
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