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Miracle whip

April 14: Miraculous Discovery Day

  • 13 CE - Repairs begin after worst Friday the 13th ever.
  • 1215 - Magna Carta signed, giving the Red Baron the right to bake pizza on his warplane.
  • 1654 - On this Sunday, by a freak coincidence, no-one turned up to church at all, anywhere. Excuses cited include "washing cart" and "wife pregnant".
  • 1897 - A commuter is canonized for the miracle of having exact change and the miracle of not missing her stop and asking the conductor to back up the train.
  • 1949 - All of China is astounded when superhero Chairman brings folding chairs to all Politburo meetings.
  • 1967 - Yoko Ono forms her renegade militant group The Plastic Renegades with the objective of destroying all good music in the universe.
  • 1987 - Miracle Whip is deemed "less than miraculous" by the FDA.
  • 2002 - Hundreds of Korean children die when they are bussed to the wrong venue instead of being taken to the Youth in Asia Conference in Seoul.
  • 2008 - Somebody was wrong *gasp!* on the internet.