From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Here are the answers to the Uncyclopedia FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)...
- Uncyclopedia is a wiki designed to parody Wikipedia through the cunning use of repetitive in-jokes, rampant page vandalism and small black flowers that grow in the sky.
- Anyone can edit. Even your grandmother. Yes, I know she's got Alzheimer's. She can still edit (and would probably be a damn sight funnier than most of the losers we've got here).
- Just type "linkilinkilinki" or "titletitletitle" over and over again into your computer's command prompt or terminal until the buffer runs out and is forced to comply with your request.
- The editorial policy states (somewhere) that you can write anything you like as long as it's funny, not too offensive and isn't very factual. If you violate these rules, your article may be baleeted and you may be banned. You can appeal against this by whining like a small girl about "The Flamewar Guidelines" and "The principles of a Wiki".
- You should register because otherwise you show up as an IP address. This means that sysops may regard you with suspicion. It also means that you aren't credited with your contributions. If you have a revolving IP address this makes things even more complicated. Registering allows you to circumvent all of this (it also makes you ban-proof, immortal and doubles the length of your penis, apparently. If you don't have a penis, one will be supplied.)
- Your article got baleeted because it offended someone enough for them to submit it for deletion at Uncyclopedia:VFD or Uncyclopedia:QuickVFD. If enough people vote for deletion your article will be removed. You can get around this by rewriting the article again. And again. And again. Go on, try it, it's a great way to make new friends.
- If somebody vandalises your article, they're probably an unregistered user. Make a note of their IP address and pass it to the sysops, who, through their intelligence services contacts, will have the offender located, extradited and tortured. More likely they'll just ban the IP address, but we can hope.
- Categories are a good way to get people to visit your page when casually flipping through the Uncyclopedia. To add your page to a category you need to fill and submit in three copies of the Article Inclusion In Category Request Form 11.2B to the sysadmin by (physical, non-electronic) mail. To obtain the sysadmin's address you need to fill in a Web User Postal Address Request Form 4.1D and mail it to the U.S. Department of Intarweb. It requires three signatures, your own, one from a professional acquaintance (e.g. a doctor, a teacher, a politician or a prostitute) and one from a referee who is not related to you in any way, is not your current or past employer and has never met you before. If you are British, contact your local admin at the National Wiki Service. Once you complete this process your article will be added to the category of your choice, if it hasn't been vandalised or baleeted yet. If you want inclusion in more than one category, simply repeat the entire process for each of the additional categories.
- You can add an image to an article by simply dragging and dropping it into your web browser in the exact location in which you want it to appear on the page. You can upload images in a similar manner - just change their file extensions from, say, .gif or .jpg to .exe and email them as attachments to email@example.com.
- The featured article on the front page is decided by the Uncyclopedia Front Page Committee which convenes in the Common Room of Exeter College, Oxford, on the first Sunday of every month. If you wish to apply to join the committee, simply mail £90 in Scottish banknotes to
- Sauron was once the leading image on the front page. Some people decided that it would be better to rotate the featured images instead. Sauron groupies were a little ticked off with this, but one quick Kitten Huff later, they were all calmed down.
- Sophia is the godess of Knowledge in several cultures, including most monotheistic ones. Failure to acknowledge Sophia will result in a form of damnation remarkably similar to being immersed into a deep-fat frier and fed to a hungry Glaswegian.
For the questions to these answers please consult the FAQ. Thanks.