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ADOPTEES: Feel free to contact any available person on this list, but do so one at a time. We don't want any custody battles just because you gave your name to everyone on the list, and they all answered with a resounding YES. Patience.

We even have a wonderful ignorable color-coded system to help you out. Red means the adopter is not around. Green means the adopter is around. Gold means the adopter is an admin, dark green means the adopter is a penis, and blue mean the adopter likes cheesecake.

ADOPTERS: Got time to kill? Did your plant die and you're too cheap to buy a dog? PWN a n00b today for fun and profit, or lack of anything better to do.

(Start again.)

If you'd like to help new users to "succeed" here (whatever that means to you), by providing mentorship, sign up here. Just a few things to keep in mind:

  • Adopters should be available often to help their adoptees.
  • Adopters should have a minimum of 500 edits.
  • Adopters should not have any recent blocks (last 6 months) or vandalism (last 3 months).
  • Adopters should not be current adoptees.

edit Relatively active adopters

Adopter Admin? Accepting adoptees Activity On Uncyclopedia / Notes
Anton199 No I guess so. Wait, I mean yes. Yes, I do. Very irregular, but still quite significant (for me, at least). I have been an Uncyclopedia editor since early 1700s, when it was just starting out as a printed project no King or Tsar wanted to finance, hence I consider that the experience I have acquired is sufficient to help you out, if you need it. I've written a fair amount of articles, UnSignposts and reviews. I love collaborating on articles and discovering the way other people write, so we might work on something together - if you wish, of course.

You can talk to me here.

Frosty yes, no not really REPEALED sure why not? I am on most All days (I have no life you see), though occasionally I may disappear for a while. I do not write many articles, but I am happy to help those trying and offer advice. I mainly work behind the scenes and do the stuff you probably don't want to do. I own you therefore!

Contact me on my talk page.

Meganew I've pissed more admins off here then most users that survive the cut between users and vandals, and if I asked for them to let me be one, they'd probably say no. I do have rollbacks, though. Plenty of room for everyone. I'm alive now. I've been around for over 2 years, so I've got quite a bit of experience. Took a while off in late '09 and have been strong here ever since. I'm the current leader of the Grue Army, and I always want my n00bs to join, as they can get some experience for later, preventing them from easily getting pissed off and leaving. I run the Merc Squadron War Surplus Store, which allows the various warlords admins and users to build up private armies. Famous stuff I've worked on was The Young and the Uncyclopedians, one of the longest running UnScripts in this site's history, info on the Un-Wiki War, detailing info about our various military forces, and The original iCarly, which was rather unfairly deleted. Overall, I'm just your average Uncyc veteran.
Mhaille Maybe Pick up the phone, I'm always home. Call me any time. Around In a round about way this crazy page was actually my idea. Fairly decent record with featured images and articles, I consider myself pretty n00b-friendly.

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.

ScottPat No. Yes. That's why I'm on this page. I stick around a lot. I've been here, a while now and I know quite a bit about the site now. I've written many articles with some features and I'm chief editor of UnSignpost. I already help out random noobs who join anyway and welcome them so I joined this to make my helping official.
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