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ADOPTEES: Feel free to contact any available person on this list, but do so one at a time. We don't want any custody battles just because you gave your name to everyone on the list, and they all answered with a resounding YES. Patience.

We even have a wonderful ignorable color-coded system to help you out. Red means the adopter is not around. Green means the adopter is around. Gold means the adopter is an admin, dark green means the adopter is a penis, and blue mean the adopter likes cheesecake.

ADOPTERS: Got time to kill? Did your plant die and you're too cheap to buy a dog? PWN a n00b today for fun and profit, or lack of anything better to do.

(Start again.)

If you'd like to help new users to "succeed" here (whatever that means to you), by providing mentorship, sign up here. Just a few things to keep in mind:

  • Adopters should be available often to help their adoptees.
  • Adopters should have a minimum of 500 edits.
  • Adopters should not have any recent blocks (last 6 months) or vandalism (last 3 months).
  • Adopters should not be current adoptees.

edit Relatively active adopters

Adopter Admin? Accepting adoptees Activity On Uncyclopedia / Notes
Frosty yes, no not really REPEALED sure why not? I am on most All days (I have no life you see), though occasionally I may disappear for a while. I do not write many articles, but I am happy to help those trying and offer advice. I mainly work behind the scenes and do the stuff you probably don't want to do. I own you therefore!

Contact me on my talk page.

Meganew I've pissed more admins off here then most users that survive the cut between users and vandals, and if I asked for them to let me be one, they'd probably say no. I do have rollbacks, though. Plenty of room for everyone. I'm alive now. I've been around for over 2 years, so I've got quite a bit of experience. Took a while off in late '09 and have been strong here ever since. I'm the current leader of the Grue Army, and I always want my n00bs to join, as they can get some experience for later, preventing them from easily getting pissed off and leaving. I run the Merc Squadron War Surplus Store, which allows the various warlords admins and users to build up private armies. Famous stuff I've worked on was The Young and the Uncyclopedians, one of the longest running UnScripts in this site's history, info on the Un-Wiki War, detailing info about our various military forces, and The original iCarly, which was rather unfairly deleted. Overall, I'm just your average Uncyc veteran.
Mhaille Maybe Pick up the phone, I'm always home. Call me any time. Around In a round about way this crazy page was actually my idea. Fairly decent record with featured images and articles, I consider myself pretty n00b-friendly.

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.

ScottPat No. Yes. That's why I'm on this page. I stick around a lot. I've been here, a while now and I know quite a bit about the site now. I've written many articles with some features and I'm chief editor of UnSignpost. I already help out random noobs who join anyway and welcome them so I joined this to make my helping official.
Shabidoo Ahhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah right! Haahahahahaha! ME...ADMIN!?!?!?!? Lots of work, no thanks. I adopted 35 ethiopinan orphans, but none here. I write stuff people dont understand. I write more stuff on pages behind the scene that seems like its own language. I write stuff in forums that add a fourth dimention to cognitive incomprehension. But yet...some how people respond. Hmm. Drop me a line here Im always happy to help/interact with people with questions or anyone who needs constructive criticism or ideas or how to figure out stuff here. I write, do stuff, and write stuff and do stuff. I avoid not doing things and I particularly try hard not to not write. Your head hangs in the balance.
180px-Symbol apathy vote.svg Zana Dark I'm far too smart to be an admin. Maybe if you give me chocolate. I'm around here somewhere... Lurking in the shadows... Every once in a while I'm funny, but it depends on who you ask... My specialties are templates, prose, formatting, and copious amounts of unlegal activity.

Just talk to me...

Anton199 Not yet Wait, isn't it the page where you get free cookies? Kind of. I take a lot of space at Recent Changes, though. I specialize in writing comments on talkpages, debating, making jokes about something serious and voting. However, I like saying that I help users!
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