Unfortunately, our hosts have advised us that, in lieu of funding, they are in urgent need of our blood to ensure continuing availability of the website.
You will also need a sufficient length of plastic tubing. Connect one end of the tubing to the needle. Connect the other end of the tubing to your computer — for instance, the
AUDIO IN port.
USB transfusion appliances have appeared on the market lately and make the process much more efficient. If you have this adapter, it can be plugged into any available USB port. With Plug and Play, Microsoft will automatically detect the connection and begin draining the blood from your body.
If you have USB 2.0, the process will be over in perhaps an hour. Otherwise, plan to leave the needle in overnight.
It is hoped that everyone who has informed us that Uncyclopedia sucks can be an integral part of that very process. Thank you.
- —The Management, 1 April 2014