Uncyclopedia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Self referential humour makes me sick to the core”
~ Oscar Wilde on Uncyclopedia
The poor meme-ridden "comedy" website Uncyclopedia is the stuff of Internet legend and infamy. The site which originated in 1860 is now a multi-national effort and is viewed as the best of its kind by some.[1] Uncyclopedia currently specializes in tedious mockery of perceived competitors and petty in-fighting, with much of the content viewed as mass-produced junk. However there remains a peculiar fondness for some of the articles by fanatics. The site has however been viewed as a waste of server space by its host, the evil Wikia Empire.
This is a view that has sparked a substantial shift for the site from being a satirical site to redirecting its resources into pathetic racial slurs and Nazis, preferably with a little Chuck Norris for good measure. This is compounded by the need for articles that appease a "softer consensus."
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Origins
The site was founded by entrepreneur Oscar Wilde in October 1860, however the early Uncyclopedia was not the impressive effort it is today. It all began when Wilde would often write puerile childish jokes on scraps of paper to his male friends to encourage more "intimate relations." The internet was, conveniently, invented in 1880 and allowed Wilde to pursue the same method though technology and thus he was able to extend his efforts globally.
Oscar was spotted by Sophia Lauren[2] whilst on vacation in Miami. After hours of debate, they decided to found an internet site that would allow for Oscar's whoring and Sophia's showcasing of talent to take place in one convenient location. Thus, a crumby website was born and a whole new reason to live for the unemployed was broadcast to the world.
Following the 1901 Uncyclopedia Supreme Symposium Spectacular the site became concerned with satirical content after Wilde was banned from trying use the internet to seduce young men, and there was need of some content outside of innuendo. However despite US authorities, the CEO continued to manage the project in Warsaw, Poland. With this legal loophole for ISPs, Wilde was able to run the Uncyclomedia Foundation along with Sophia until the millennium years.
Recent History
“In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Western Hemisphere of the planet Earth, Uncyclopedia has already supplanted Wikipedia as the standard repository for all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omission and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects. First, it contains 1 Zero Wing reference every 3 words; and second, it has the wisdom of Oscar Wilde inscribed at the top of every article.”
~ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on Uncyclopedia
Soft-porn tycoon Jimbo Wales bought the site from Oscar Wilde in 2005 off the back of economic difficulties and bad press over Wilde's libertine lifestyle. The sale was initially pushed forward by Wales, however he later commented that he personally disliked the fact he owned such a "low echelon" of the internet.[3]
In late 2006 Wales and his Wikia firm relinquished to a 20% stake in the site and allowing Oscar Wilde to be reinstated as CEO in the latter quarter of 2006. However Wilde was anxious for a new investor as he found the site a "hassle" and Uncyclopedia was sold by Wilde to News Corp. for $12.50. Oscar Wilde was kept as acting CEO for figurehead purposes despite managerial decisions being shifted to Wikia and News Corp. stooges.
Oscar Wilde had often commented that Uncyclopedia was never "really there" but that it "just pretended" as it was on computer screens. It’s thought that this ignorance of information technology and Web 2.0 forced Wilde to sell to News Corporation. The conglomerate had no problem with the lack of quality or worthwhile content and this has been particularly apparent in the articles now featured. Since then there has been an ever greater emphasis on "sizzle" rather than the "sausage" that Wilde was always so fond of.
Aims
“The goal of this project is to provide the world's misinformation in the least redeeming and most searingly sarcastic and humorous way possible”
Initially the site was a parody of comedy encyclopedia, Wikipedia. However, due to economic and mental constraints the site now relies and insists on trusty in-jokes and moronic junk. This was instituted by News Corporation who have sought to compete with rival comedy internet sites such as shock humour website Encyclopedia Dramatica and the advertising rich yank dumpster The Onion.
For the founders of the site, the aim was to provide Oscar Wilde nubile and healthy young men with nothing better to do than make up quotes and write articles based on the courses they were studying whilst at University.[4] This has still proved to be the case however the site has pursued younger contributors to spark more interest and competition. The result has been an annoying amount of "intellgentsia" who readily have an English textbook from school to correct contributors.
The sites initial aims in 2005 included, writing articles with an intelligent, satirical and funny intent. As time went on and numbers increased, a greater need for recognition and competition amongst the users was required. These included VFH which allowed articles to be showcased to the rest of the community on the front page. Due to the high amount of drama and bitching on discussion pages, a community forum was invented to allow for whining to proceed more smoothly and easily.
However as of a January 2008 decree by the CEO and the Cabal of the Uncyclomedia Foundation, further worthwhile activities on the site are now to include; voting and adding to VFD (always in expectation of approval), uploading crap/pervert images, creating useless categories and evermore useless and unfunny templates and quotes.[5] There is also the encouragement of more bickering/bitching in forums - with added theatrics. This of course goes against the law of the site, however the move is hoped to spark interest in the project.
Characteristics
The site was for a time famous for its clever articles; however the tedious dramas are often cited as being a source of fun for the users and admins. The bitter in-fighting has also been used to allay many a high school/university shootings as lonely young men flock to "compete" on humour, particularly the kind of humour they have found girls unresponsive to.
Oscar Wilde instituted a hierarchical administration in the early days of Uncyclopedia to run the site without his supervision. This evil sect would allow for bickering about the sites direction to take place in a clean and less soiled environment to the rest of the site. Entry to the so called "Cabal" for users usually depends on how vocal the current active members are and whether the more moderate voices can stand the drama of yet more "queens" coming to the fore. The Cabal system is widely criticized even by members themselves, however anonymous sources have commented that, "Once you’re wedged into the Cabal the only real way out is further up it."[6]
The site also has a religious structure based on Judeo-Christian beliefs, however many atavistic pagan elements have been introduced for disciplining the less intelligent. Good examples of these include, Sophia, Pastafarianism, Chuck Norris and Russian Reversals which engender loyalty despite whining and in-fighting. The official Church of Uncyclopedia was dissolved when Oscar Wilde began his sabbatical in 2008.
The sabbatical of the CEO and the church dissolution was apparently due to bad publicity by the Irish writer in yet another stunt to boost his profile on the site. The toothless simpletons from Wilde's home sty of Dublin strongly deny this on his behalf. Since then Uncyclopedia has become more secular and left wing.[7]
The "Future" for the project
“Go eat shit fuckers”
~ 4.252.99.182 on Uncyclopedia's future
The site is something of a Paradise Lost and it is hoped that it can be restored to the whoring effort that Wilde envisaged while pissed out of his mind whilst studying at Oxford. The site has expanded a great deal with an excess of 23,000 articles taking up server space, some have speculated that lax attitudes have opened Uncyclopedia's future wide open to the infection of vandals.[8]
It has been the case that the site will continue to function on more "experimental" articles involving MS Paint and sex and/or racism jokes. Zombie Jesus famously commented in 2007 about Uncyclopedians, "How the these 'special people' find the on button on their computers let alone edit the site baffles me"
Overall the site has lost ground as a comedy website as it’s most active contributors down tools to make way for scrotes. The acting CEO Oscar Wilde commented on recent times,
| It's not the site that’s the problem, it’s the excessive liberality towards morons which ensured the downfall of such projects. Evermore complications are added in the name of 'user retention' and 'maintenance', this of course, only leads to further bickering and confusion. |
Other recent additions for users to partake in is "power hunger." For the comedy wiki this remains one of the slightly amusing things for a spectator of the site. It can often hilarious to hear the IRC discussions, or the forums where those skilled in debate keenly hope to persuade the site that one day they should "seize control" of the impoverished site and restore order.[9]
Footnotes
- ↑ Nobody cares really.
- ↑ The human incarnation of the Gnostic deity according to quacks.
- ↑ Jimbo has often commented to his henchmen, that Uncyclopedia was like the sole of his shoe, gathering page views for money and protecting his sweaty, corn-ridden feet.
- ↑ Oscar found men of this sort, "ripe for seduction and naked towel dances as well as my fart art."
- ↑ Humour is subjective man, fuck you for saying they're useless!
- ↑ The source was liquidated by the Cabal as a routine precaution.
- ↑ and also more bitchy and annoying.
- ↑ Who are all fecal matter.
- ↑ For what diabolic reason Sophia only knows.
See also
- Internet
- Comedy
- Uncyclopedia is the Worst
- Uncyclopedia is the Best
- Uncyclopedia:Best of
- How to be funny and not just stupid
 Quasi-Featured Article (18:46, 17 January 2009 (UTC))This article was nominated to become a featured article; however, due to several votes being devoured by an Illithid, it didn't make the cut (6/11.5). Don't let this happen again! For just pennies a day, you can prevent another travesty of this nature, or vote for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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