Neo-Luddite Dynamite

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A Very Short Story

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edit Stave 1: Introduction

Napoleon Kaczynski

What is the best part of living in a shack outside of civilisation, you ask? Why, fighting wolverines with my sweet pre-industrial nunchucks!


Here we meet Dr. Theodore Kaczynski, former assistant to the professor of mathematics at the University of California, now insane isolated noble savage, as he engages in his special campaign.

Who are you going to mail bomb today, Dr. Kaczynski?


Cquote1 Whoever I feel like bombing today. GOSH! Cquote2


edit Stave 2: The Manifesto

Industrial Society and Its Future


1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy, then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness. Science fiction? It is already happening to some extent in our own society.

2. To those who think that this sounds like science fiction, we point out that yesterday's science fiction is today's fact. The Industrial Revolution has radically altered man's environment and way of life, and it is only to be expected that as technology is increasingly applied to the human body and mind, man himself will be altered as radically as his environment and way of life have been.

3. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. The only hope for mankind is to return to his roots; to reclaim his very wilderness.



4. Just like this sweet liger I drew yesterday. We should all be wild and majestic. Like a frickin' awesome race of ligers.


edit Stave 3: Karaoke Number

Kip the unabomber

"Your mom goes to UC Berkeley!"


Musical note Yeees, he hates technology,

But nooot as much as UC Berkeley.
Stiiill, he hates technology,
Now and Forever.

Musical note



The post-civilized world will not miss Karaoke Night.

edit Stave 4: Revolution

Uncle Rico football small Uncle Rico football small Uncle Rico football small


Cquote1 Yes! DESTROY THE MACHINES! Wipe them off the face of Idaho and the rest of the planet, for this revolution will not be televised! Cquote2


Napoleon Bonamite

Contrary to the hopes of oversocialized leftists, it will not be another French one either.

edit Stave 5: Target: Jon Heder

"Ugh! Dang it! Someone left a bunch of crap on my front porch!"

. . .

"Oh well, I guess I'll see what's inside."


*opens lid*



*BOOM*




edit Epilogue

ND Zombie

Woke Up Dead.

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