From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Following 13 Followers 45
About to set sail on my boat. Fly Dutcheeeeeee Babaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!
7:07am June 3rd from Edinburgh
Holy damn. Hottest. Chick. Ever. On the docks. Gonna go get a name ;)
7:11am June 3rd from web
Calypso. So hot. She’s like mysterious and like untamed as the ocean, you know?
7:13am June 3rd from web
Damn. Damn. @Calypso is comin with us. This is gonna be a great trip
7:20am June 3rd from web
Looks like a storm’s up ahead. @Calypso has been moody all day
3:26pm June 20th from web
Im like really worried. Calypso has been like weird for the past like week. Also, dont know where the eff we are........
12:48pm July 3rd from web
Whoa Calypso is such a bitch. She dumped me. She effin dumped me.
5:29pm July 7th from web
Ive decided. I dumped that bitch into the ocean. If I cant be with Calypso, I’m cutting out my damn heart. Damn her. X(
5: 30pm July 7th from web
Holy crap. Holy Crap. The Flyin Dutchee is caught in a huge whirlpool. I coulda swore I see Calypso’s face in the water.......
10:53pm July 7th from web
Got an extreme makeover: Bitch edition. Calypso is a friggin sea goddess. That’s so hot. Why does she hafta be a bitch? She turned me and my crew into weirdo fish people. What the hell.
5:38am July 8th from web
Have Now I got a damn job. Gotta “ferry the souls of those lost at sea to the afterlife”. Calypso needs anger management. Not gonna be able to tweet much anymore. Ho.
8:40am July 8th from web
Met this like Pirate court. Bunch of pirates from around the world. Lol african pirate sounds funny “hadda-badda-booda-beedee!”
8:31am January 12th from web
Persuaded the pirate dudes. We are gonna trap Calypso in the human form of the voodoo lady. LOL suck it bitch.
1:49pm January 12th from web
She calls herself “Tia Dalma” now. How queer? LOL Gotta get back to messin with sailors
4:44pm January 12th from web
RT @TiaDalma: What the hell Davy? I break up with you, give you a JOB and you get so pissed you make a bunch of pirates turn me into a HUMAN?! XO
4:59pm January 12th from web
Just found a huge squid. Called it Kraken. Now Davy’s got a pet to do his bidding
8:50am May 22nd from web
@MaccusRuleZ what the hell is the deal with your head? Your like a sharkhead now
7:33pm October 5th from web
RT @MaccusRuleZ: Look who’s talkin mr. octopussy-face. And the claw? Not intimidating.
11:11pm October 5th from web
Ok, just went to this shipwreck expectin some like dead people for my crew….and this Jack Sparrow dude tries to bargain with me. I gave him 13 years on his precious ship…..
6:00 July 30th from web
So I’m sailing on the bottom of the ocean, and theres this guy chained to a cannonball just sitting there. WTF?
10:24pm December 17th from web
Omfg. The cannonball dude is from “Jack Sparrow’s” crew. Turns out, jackie’s mate Barbiossa mutineed on him. Bootstrap bill didn’t agree with Barbie, so he got attached to a cannonball LOL.
11:21pm December 17th from web
New wreck spotted ahead. Going in.
11:25pm March 15th from web
My favorite thing about Kraken? That he legit sucks peoples’ faces off
12:02pm March 16th from web
Maccus is summoning me. Wtf? He and the crew are supposed to deal with the people. I hate the living
12:10pm March 16th from web
O. M. G. On the boat was one of “Jack Sparrow’s” men. Told Jackie his soul was worth 100 souls and that hes got 3 days to get me 99 souls (I took Legolas as one of them).
2:33am March 16th from web