UnTweets:A Mafia boss's tale

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Name: Donald Soprano
Location: None of your goddamn business
Bio: I run a perfectly legitimate supermarket chain, which is the only reason that I'm filthy stinking rich.
Following 240.
Followers 300.


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dsoprano
Oh, hello twitterverse! My name is Donald Soprano, owner of the Fantisimo supermarket chain!

14:45 23 June 2011 from web

Yeah, I mean we got a lot of good stuff on sale right here! Just got a new batch of Skippy's peanut butter jars!

14:48, 23 June 2011 from web

Thank you people for all the generous purchases you make! You customers are what my business is all about!

12:00, 24 June 2011 from web

@lsoprano Hahaha, honey! Hope you're enjoying your stay in the Bahamas! #Imissyou

15:23, 24 June 2011 from web

Great. Fucking Feds decided to raid the Manhattan branch again. Wonder what went wrong this time! #justmyluck

14:21, 28 June 2011 from web

How many times do I have to tell these guys I'm not trafficking heroin through my supermarket chains! They just keep coming and coming...

14:25, 28 June 2011 from web

To my followers- don't listen to a damn thing these putas tell you! My business is legit! I have nothing to do with narcotics!

14:45, 28 June 2011 from web

@carlmorgan This is the third time this month!

14:47, 28 June 2011 from web

@nizamj Of course they would do that! These vultures just don't spare anybody!!

14:47, 28 June 2011 from web

RT @nizamj I feel you man! Those morons raided my kebab stand and arrested me just because I was Muslim!

14:50, 28 June 2011 from web

Phew! Everything's cooled down, now. They didn't find anything "concrete". Big surprise. LOL.

20:34, 28 June 2011 from web

It isn't easy running a business in this country. Guess being the son of a Sicilian immigrant does have its baggage.

21:00, 28 June 2011 from web

@joefontane No, my father does not know any Don Corleone. He's never even been to the village of Corleone!

21:37, 28 June 2011 from web

@joefontane However, I do know a Brian Corleone. He runs the Romano resort in Vegas. Follow him everybody! (@briancorleone)

21:38, 28 June 2011 from web

Phew! Back to business as usual today! Good thing the raid didn't affect the business at the Manhattan chain in any way!

12:56, 29 June 2011 from web

That stupid Harley Mason still hasn't repaid the loan he took from me!

18:34, 29 June 2011 from web

It's his loss. At this rate, I don't even know if he'll be able to afford all the interest that he's accumulated!

18:34, 29 June 2011 from web

Great. Harley still isn't returning my calls. Maybe I should pay him a visit with some of my friends.

20:00, 29 June 2011 from web

Just had a nice chat with him and his family. Promises to repay the money tomorrow.

21:00, 29 June 2011 from web

@carlmorgan Oh, I just asked him what was taking him so long. Apparently, he's got quite a family to take care of.

21:03, 29 June 2011 from web

@carlmorgan Yeah, he's got kids, grandparents, great-grandparents, all under one roof. That's a lot of people!

21:03, 29 June 2011 from web

@carlmorgan That's right. He pays up by tomorrow, and I provide financial assistance to his family. It's a win-win!

21:04, 29 June 2011 from web

Sorry for not tweeting for a while my friends, been really busy dealing with the competition to my supermarket chain.

17:45, 10 July 2011 from web

@nizamj Yeah, some rival chains had set up shop in the joint. But they won't be bothering you with their substandard products anymore!

17:47, 10 July 2011 from web

@nizamj Sure we could sell your products at our market! I'm pretty sure the customers would love your ready-to-eat kebab rolls.

17:50, 10 July 2011 from web

@nizamj You're very much welcome. You be my friend and I'll be yours! It's the way of the world!

17:50, 10 July 2011 from web

@briancorleone Hey there pal! Been a long time since we chatted!

14:44, 13 July 2011 from web

@briancorleone Why haven't you called? Told me how business was going..

14:44, 13 July 2011 from web

@briancorleone The casino must be undergoing expansion, eh?

14:45, 13 July 2011 from web

@briancorleone Fuck! Those putas tried to get a search warrant?

14:46, 13 July 2011 from web

@briancorleone Has the law-enforcement in this country lost its mind?

14:47, 13 July, 2011 from web

@briancorleone The losers didn't find anything, eh? Big surprise.

14:48, 13 July, 2011 from web

@briancorleone Crack? They though you were running a crack lab? That's seriously messed up!

14:50, 13 July 2011 from web

@briancorleone Not to be too patronizing, but you should have clocked that asshole right in the face!

14:51, 13 July 2011 from web

@briancorleone Arrived at noon, in broad daylight? These people are so inconsiderate!

14:57, 13 July 2011 from web

@briancorleone Yet they keep hounding us like mongrels! What the hell is wrong with them? WHAT?

14:57, 13 July 2011 from web

@briancorleone Ah, I see. Be sure to send over those products by next week, okay?

15:38, 13 July 2011 from web

@carlmorgan Oh, didn't I tell you? Brian helps me handle the shipping of consumer goods from state to state. You know, because I have supermarkets all over the place.

15:45, 13 July 2011 from web

@carlmorgan @briancorleone also owns a trucking business, you see. I'm often in need of his services.

15:54, 13 July 2011 from web

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