UnSignpost

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{{Shortcut|[[Unsignpost]]<br />[[UN:USP]]<br />[[USP]]}}
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{{title|UnSignpost Main Page}}
<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:200%; line-height:100%; font-weight:bold;">The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost</span>
 
   
<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:90%; line-height:100%; font-weight:bold;">{{Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/slogan}}</span>
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{{Shortcut|[[USP]]; [[Unsignpost]]}}
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<div align="center"><span style="font-family: cursive, sans-serif; font-size:500%; line-height:200%">The UnSignpost</span></div>
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<div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:110%; line-height:100%">{{Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/slogan}}</span></div>
   
 
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Message to Uncyclopedian readers. For the past three months you have received nothing. These UnSignpost journalists said they would bring you a copy every Thursday. They have let you down. UnSignpost has changed management. This page's list of editors will change in a months time to present information on active editors and bots. If you are an editor and you are listed on this page and are still active contact me on my talk page (click on (talk) after my user name). A few of us got so fed up with the lack of reporting that we made a new UnSignpost for April. None of the bots have contacted to help us deliver this so we are delivering it manually. Hopefully you shall all receive one before the end of this week.
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's online news page, the UnSignpost! Find anything you want and don't want about what's happening on this site and elsewhere! News is updated here regularly <s>(every month)</s> giving you a minute by minute acount of the goings on in the Uncyclopedia community.
   
The contributors and people who helped with technical stuff in this month's UnSignpost and therefore the only active UnSignpost editors and helpers we know of are:
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<div align="center">[[UnSignpost:Current|Current Edition]]</div>
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[[User:ScottPat|ScottPat]], [[User:Dannyboy1209]], [[Spike|Spike]], [[Nobody]], [[User:Aleister in Chains|Its me Aleister]], [[User:PuppyOnTheRadio|PuppyOnTheRadio]].
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{{USP body-left}}
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{{USP article|Top Story|Uncyclopedia's grand conspiracy|
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[[File:Illuminati Seal.jpg|left|180px]]
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'''By [[User:ScottPat|ScottPat]]'''
   
You have a month to comply until we re-write the list of editors (4th May 2013: May the <s>Force</s> Fourth be with you). Its for everyone's benefit.
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In recent world news, violence has once again broken out between the countries of [[Palestine]] and [[Israel]] in what looks to be a prolonged spout of fighting over the land once again. As usual when world events happen like this people have been looking for the cause to the event and some have found the cause, surprisingly, to be [[Uncyclopedia]]. The violence was sparked off when two Israelis were found dead in Palestine in June of this year. At the very start of the month on 2nd June, the article [[Gaza War]] was featured. Coincidence? Was it just chance that Uncyclopedia featured an article on a previous conflict in the region just before a new one was sparked off? We think not.
   
<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">'''Occasional Editors:''' [[Nobody]] &bull; [[User:Dannyboy1209|Dannyboy1209]] &bull; [[User:ScottPat|ScottPat]] &bull; {{u|Gerrycheevers}} &bull; {{u|Under user}} &bull; {{u|Orian57}} &bull; {{u|THEDUDEMAN}} &bull; {{u|Sockpuppet of an unregistered user}} &bull; {{u|An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays}} &bull; {{u|Guildensternenstein}} &bull; {{u|Bad Shroom}} &bull; {{u|The Woodburninator}} &bull; {{u|Electrified mocha chinchilla}} &bull; {{u|Heerenveen}} &bull; {{u|PuppyOnTheRadio}} &bull; {{u|CheddarBBQ}} &bull; {{u|ChiefjusticeDS}} &bull; {{u|Olipro}} &bull; {{u|Magic man}} &bull; {{u|Frosty}} &bull; {{u|Lollipop}} &bull; {{u|Mattsnow}} &bull; {{u|Xamralco}}</span>
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'''[[UnSignpost:Article/Uncyclopedia's grand conspiracy|Read more...]]'''
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{{USP article|News Stories||
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[[File:WallOver.jpg|left|75px]]
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'''[[UnSignpost:Article/A way out|A way out]]''' - Veteran archivist {{U|Anton199}} recently stumbled onto the special-page [[Special:CloseMyAccount]]. The existence of such an article is remarkable, as in the policy manual, no one's account is ever closed.
   
<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">'''Glorious Founders & Co-Head Janitors:''' {{u|Dr. Skullthumper}} &bull; {{u|Cajek}}</span>
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<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">'''Token [[Cabal]] representative:''' {{u|Mordillo}}</span>
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[[File:JulyCoup.jpg|left|85px]]
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'''[[UnSignpost:Article/Anniversary of the July Coup|Anniversary of the July Coup]]''' - T'was only a year ago that this newspaper was thrown into a ruinous [[civil war]], that would span the course of a month.
   
<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">'''The Paperbots:''' {{u|MrN9001}} &bull; {{u|THEDUDEBOT}} &bull; {{u|MantiBot}} &bull; {{u|Fnoodle}} &bull; {{u|Sockpuppet of an unregistered user}} &bull; {{u|Dexter111344}} &bull; {{u|ChiefjusticeDS}} &bull; {{u|MadMax}} &bull; {{u|Magic man}} &bull; {{u|Frosty}}</span>
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'''[[UnSignpost/20130408]] is the new UnSignpost for April 2013. It is being sent out to everyone manually.'''
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[[File:Clement and Judah.jpg|left|80px]]
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'''[[UnSignpost:Article/The exodus continues|The exodus continues]]''' - Following the swan song of Abuse Filters 16 and 20 (see previous issue), the latest stalwart Uncyclopedian to leave is the Sprite. Our webhost [[Wikia]] is trying to get out of the stylistic shadows of Wikipedia...
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[[UnSignpost/20130408|<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">'''Click here to view the latest issue'''</span>]]
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{{USP article|Image Gallery|Image of the week!|
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[[File:Domokun-hat.gif|left]]
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<big>Visit our [[UnSignpost:Images|Image Gallery]]!</big>
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<small>[[Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/Archives|<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Click here to rifle through our archives</span>]]</small>
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{{USP article|Old|Archives|
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*[[UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20140715]] - this UnSignpost issue once again proves the First Law of the UnSignpost <small>(''The frequency of the UnSignpost is proportional, disproportional or is in no relation to the amount of things happening on Uncyclopedia, in a way that it always decreases in geometrical progression)</small>
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*[[UnSignpost:UnSignpost/20140520]] - 200!!!
[[Image:Lost.png|thumb|right|No, not that type of signpost. Just as useful, though.]]
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*[[UnSignpost:Article]]: Check out our old '''and''' new articles to find out why we are not the same!
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}}
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<div style="width:50%; float:left;"><div style="margin-right:2em; margin-left:1.5em;">
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{{USP article|News Feed||
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*'''4th August''' - An excerpt from the ban log: ''"02:48 . . SPIKE (talk <nowiki>|</nowiki> contribs) blocked 111.69.22.250 (talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY)"''
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*'''11th July''' - [[Forum:Happy Monkey Competition results]].
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*'''14th June''' - Happy Monkey competition begins today!
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<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The '''UnSignpost''' is the way to stay informed about Uncyclopedia without actually getting involved with all the madness that goes on around here on a regular basis. It seeks to provide some of the most useless information on Uncyclopedia's so-called "community".</span>
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{{USP article|[[Village Dump|Forums]]|Active Forums|
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#[[Forum:Uncyclopedia's Wikia Portal]] - How should we describe ourselves.
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#[[Forum:Wiki World Cup]] - Wiki World Cup 2018 is coming up sooner than you think!
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<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><big>'''If you sign up <big>[[/signup|HERE]]</big>'''</big>, one of our paperbots will deliver a fresh copy of the UnSignpost straight to your talkpage every week <s>for just $5.99 a month</s>. In case you haven't got enough spam already.</span>
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{{USP article|UnSignpost|UnSignpost|
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If you have a desire to write an UnSignpost article that may well feature in an UnSignpost edition or the front page then please [[UnSignpost:Article|click here]].
   
<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><big>'''Interested in adding something to the signpost?'''</big> Drop us a line in [[/Press Room|the press room]] and we'll either ignore it, forget about it (most likely), or add it into our next issue. Want to write an article? Go right ahead and give us a draft in the press room. Any questions? Ask [[UN:AA|an admin]] (preferably {{u|ChiefjusticeDS}}).</span>
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<big>[[UnSignpost:Interview|Interviews with Uncyclopedians can be found here!]]</big>
   
<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><big>'''Want to chat with the editors live?'''</big> Good luck with that. You ''could'' drop in [irc://irc.freenode.net/#unsignpost ##unsignpost at irc.freenode.net] and talk with the editors of the UnSignpost about well... you know... stuff. You could also [[Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/Editor's Toolkit|try flapping your ears and flying to Mars]], but don't hold your breath.</span>
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[[File:Lost.png|thumb|center|250px|No, not that type of signpost. Just as useful, though.]]
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'''Chief Editors''': [[User:Anton199|Anton]] and [[User:ScottPat|ScottPat]]
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(If you want to contribute to this page, either ask an UnSignpost Chief Editor or, if you are brave, do it without telling anyone.)
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<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">'''Retired Founders & Co-Head Janitors:''' {{u|Dr. Skullthumper}} &bull; {{u|Cajek}}</span>
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</div></div>
   
[[Category:It's news because I say it's news]]
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{{UnSignpost}}

Latest revision as of 14:00, August 7, 2014

Home

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper Whose Mum Said It Was Cool!

Welcome to Uncyclopedia's online news page, the UnSignpost! Find anything you want and don't want about what's happening on this site and elsewhere! News is updated here regularly (every month) giving you a minute by minute acount of the goings on in the Uncyclopedia community.





Lost

No, not that type of signpost. Just as useful, though.

Chief Editors: Anton and ScottPat (If you want to contribute to this page, either ask an UnSignpost Chief Editor or, if you are brave, do it without telling anyone.) Retired Founders & Co-Head Janitors: Dr. SkullthumperCajek

The UnSignpost
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