Since Guttenburg decided to give up on his plans for the world's first automated juicer and used his press instead to create movable type, the printed word has been the apex of communication. This use of printed records has increased the levels of communication and understanding among mankind, bringing us to the highly enlightened state of being that we have now achieved.
And UnSignpost, as the second longest continuously running sometimes regular news broadcast that has appeared on the Internet being hosted by a comedic website that parodies the fifth most popular website on earth, is obviously at the forefront of modern communication.
Many years ago the first issue of the UnSignpost was produced, with the lofty prediction that it would last for another issue. Over the years it has been run into the groundby many fine editors, but one thing has remained constant - it has always looked sort of the same.
Finally we have embraced the changes that are sweeping through more mainstream media, and have changed our look, along with introducing our new “digital” edition. The digital edition is located atUncyclopedia:UnSignpost/News, and the traditional edition has been shrunk. This fits in with the original stated message of UnSignpost:
“For too long, Uncyclopedia has been devoid of talk page spam, such as thank you templates and welcome messages. To rectify this, Dr. Skullthumper, a local doctor and zombie specialist, and Cajek, one of the last members of the light-blue-ish species of Cajeks, have created a newspaper in the latest exercise in futility to hit the site since Forum:Count to a million.”
Of course, there are some of those who will resist the changes being made in printed media and still wish to receive a printed copy of the news. As such, we will of course accommodate your needs, and you can request a printed copy simply by clicking Ctrl + P on your PC now.
The nominal Editor-in-Chief of this publication (as your correspondent is confused as to which guy abdicated most recently) was chatting recently with an Admin and remarked about his desire to keep his sterling record of never-having-been-banned intact. This probably seemed like a safe remark, as the Admin in question has famously tried to guide Uncyclopedia away from its time-honored tradition of Joke Bans. It was not. We quickly set to reducing the ban from the 2-hour minimum shown on the pull-down menu — officially, the Uncyclopedian was banned for about 12 minutes — but he took the evening off, as our message to banned users has never been designed to be gentle.
The Uncyclopedian is back on-line, with compliments to the Admin and even a quick cleaning job to vacuum the transcript of the event into an archive with an utterly unguessable page name. The archive includes a tutorial from Shabidoo on the proud history of Joke Bans, which amuse all Uncyclopedians provided Admins only do it to each other.
The other Editor Guy, who is also a Ban Virgin, reacted with outrage. However, the moment had passed.
The Admin in question was speechless. "What can I say?" he told the UnSignpost. "I was getting ready for the Boston Red Sox to win the division, I was using the ban-stick as a baseball bat, just practicing my swing on that imaginary tricky curve ball, and it just slipped out of my hand!" It could happen again; after all, no one applies pine tar to a ban-stick.
Uncyclopedia debates the morals of democracy
The voting system for VFH was questioned last week as some users suggested a ban on namespace prejudice. The community began debating this notion with a split between those who believed that free speech should be allowed for all, never mind how radical and those who wanted to make sure that "incorrect opinions" were supressed by the rules. As usual it was a Russian, Anton, who wanted to remove the plebs' powers and make everyone equal but some people more equal than others.
The debate spanned three pages of Uncyclopedia including two talk pages and a forum page. Many Uncyclopedians became involved leading to a charity event being held in which users ranted on for the long amounts of time to donate money. The debate concluded when both sides realised they were arguing for the same thing and that the remarks of calling the other side Fascists or Communists were not needed.
In the previous month we saw the disappearance of the content warning. It marked the true end of an era as the communist state of Uncyclowikia had to come to the terms with the fact that liberal communism required free press, free media and, most importantly, a decent parody of wikipedia, which has no content warning. Many users have expressed their delight with Aleister exclaiming, "Now people will actually read my UnBooks!"
However this event has also led some to question, "How can I live my life without a content warning to guide me?" Pro-Content Warning people have found themselves helpless and without a purpose in life anymore. Some claimed they were turning mad now that they had no light to follow. A spokesman from the Anti-Content Warning side said, "I do not think they have recently turned mad. I just think that they suddenly realised that they were mad to support a warning."
"One prank deserves another!"
Famous words that Uncyclopedian Simsie lives by. After quite a long time, RAHB finally came up with the words to congratulate Simsie with for her remarkable transformation of his user page in response to his unwanted, troublesome April Fool's prank. On RAHB's talk page a discussion brewed in which RAHB was forced to admit that the change of writing on his user page conveyed precisely what he had wanted to say all his life. "Now that my message is out there," explained RAHB shortly after his congratulation, "I want to force it on the people of this site as an example to all."