So here you are, sitting at your desk, leaning towards the screen of your computer, that, for some reason, shows you two pictures of ... pumpkins. It's not that strange an occurrence, but I hear you muttering to yourself in anger and dismay: "But Halloween was, like, ages ago!" and "The lateness of this UnSignpost beat all the possible records!"
Let us answer some of the points you brought to our attention so graciously. First of all, even if we broke all the records this time, we don't see anything wrong with it, considering that these records were set by us as well. It's true that Halloween was, like, ages ago - ten days, at least. Now, would you be so kind as to check Uncyclopedia's Votes for Highlight page, where articles are nominated to be on the main page? Well, scroll down now. I see that several articles have been there for more than forty days already.
Forty. It's four times more than ten days, that you are currently blaming on the UnSignpost editors.
Do you really know what this forty means? Imagine an anxious writer, who put his page up for a vote. He waited for a week for any result, didn't see any, then became less anxious and possibly less impatient, after that spent a week working on something else, than another week, and then possibly another one, then stopped waiting, left Uncyclopedia, got a job and is already climbing the career ladder. Isn't that impressive?
Oh, and what about you? You... You are sitting at your desk and complaining about the two pumpkins that we decided to put in this UnSignpost.