From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Below are all the user biopics made for the UnSignpost in the year 2013. They are all in alphabetical order.
Although his username is Anton199, everyone (and the user himself) prefers to simply call him "Anton". Nobody knows why he chose such a username, but rumors say that the orginal one got cloned in his early childhood and other 198 Antons surf everywhere else on the Interent, while Anton spends his time on the wiki projects. He is a registered user on Uncyclopedia, the fork, Absurdopedia (the Russian uncyclopedia) and ... Wikipedia, although he has a different username there. But his virtual home is here.
Dannyboy1209, might be new and a bit mischievous, but he is a really nice guy and knows a thing or two about computers and might even be an admin one day. He started recently and wants to try and be a bit of a success.
He has had trouble with his first few articles in creating a humour element to them but is working harder now than he ever has before and with the help of a few admins he is going to be producing dozens of featured pages by the week.
The tale of Denza is a long, strange, random, and stupid one, but I feel, that it is time that you should hear this epic tale, of... something. Anyhow, there is little known about Denza, save what his userboxen tell us about him. He lives "somewhere in Kirkland" as he will not disclose his actual adress to the USP. What we do know, is that he is excellent in maintaining multiple personalities, and actually uses a different personality on this site than real life. He also manages to be hyper, in a wiki, which was thought to be impossible. Now, the reason he uses the username, DungeonSiegeAddict510, as opposed to the username "Denza252" is because he was hacked... or something, and was told that he should get a username that is not similar to his last one. He got found out within days. But he is making efforts to redeem himself through edit patrolling and editing a few articles. Anyhow, he is a very enthusiastic, 15 year old induvidual, a bit on the paranoid side, and claims to be an adorable crossdresser... who is turned on by blood (no, really!). His dream is to rule this miserable planet under an iron fisted rule. He is totally not insane, btw... just eccentric... he also likes using whatever the three dots in a row are called... He is also a member of the FORBIDDEN TRINITY (Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia, and TV Tropes (He uses the same username in wikipedia, but uses Denza252 in tvtropes.)) His main weaknesses are social interaction related, but he likes talking to people, mostly about his many fields of interests. He enjoys listening to J-Pop, due to the high metaphor/symbolism occurance rate, but also enjoys electronic music, and some rap. He is skilled in painting and drawing, and plans to make his own manga someday. He also plans to open a buisness of some sort.
Mhaille's real name (as is 42% percent of the British male population) is Niles, though this is actually pronounced "MAHL-ee." Niles is one of the few notable British Uncyclopedians. He's married to popular Eskimo singer Björk, and collects used batteries. Mhaille is the admin to talk to if you're a n00b, because he doesn't hate you outright... yet. Mhaille has helped Gollum's recording career by buying all his albums, watches Euthenasia politics on BBC4, is a history buff that loves old British Army entertainment reels, and is a self-declared "warrior-poet," whatever that means.
- FREQUENCY: Very rare
- NO. APPEARING: 1 (he is always alone)
- ARMOR CLASS: 100 (impossible to miss)
- MOVE: See Frequency
- HIT DICE: 1
- % IN LAIR: 100%
- TREASURE TYPE: Computing equipment and empty pizza boxes
- NO. OF ATTACKS: 0, that would require movement
- DAMAGE/ATTACK: 0, but if he fell on you you'd be crushed
- SPECIAL ATTACKS: Sarcasm
- SPECIAL DEFENCES: Body odour
- MAGIC RESISTANCE: Disbelief
- INTELLIGENCE: Debatable
- ALIGNMENT: Vertical
- SIZE: XXXXXL (6' tall, but very round)
- PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil
- Attack/Defense modes: Nil/Nil, but why would you bother?
The Right Rev. Dr. P. Pennyfeather has had a long and varied career, including a stint at Wales' leading public school, being a small English village's third most popular clergyman, and the oh-so-popular spell in prison everyone seems to have these days. Recently, he has decided to take things easy, as he really is getting on, and has taken up a part-time job as a pseudonym for a sixth-former in that most illustrious of counties: Derbyshire. His new employer seems rather agreeable really, and no, saying so wasn't a part of the contract. Really. He's not that bad. Anyway, the pay cheques are good, so what does the odd beating and occasional long stretches without daylight matter? When on Uncyclopedia, he doesn't really write that much. Of course, if he did write something it would be an instant feature, but such petty writing is beneath him. Instead, he reads, amends and criticises others' work. He currently runs the Proofreading service.
One with the Ancients, Romartus saw his brother at the Pompeii exhibition at the British Museum last week.' So that's what happened to the bugger...frozen in time'. He knows his historical stuff and can be quite a bore in that department if you stand long enough and listen to him. Has been here since 2008 when he wrote his first article Julian the Apostate - and hasn't looked back - or forward - since. Says he is British and likes to write on various subjects. Only became an admin when promised Nicole Scherzinger's undivided attention. She hasn't returned his calls since.
ScottPat is an overly zealous and patriotic nutter. He is of the male sex and he is half English, half Scottish and half Manx (person from the Isle of Man). ScottPat resides in Britain and doesn't want to live anywhere else as he prefers the rain and the pessimism.
Things that annoy ScottPat are swearing, foreigners who think Britain is rubbish, republicans (not the American party, the people who don't want a Queen), British people who don't like their own country, Capitalism, Communism and religion. However ScottPat does like Monarchism, patriotism, science, history, politics, English and comedy.
ScottPat's favourite quote is: "Who are you Mr. President?" although he is not a UKIP supporter (he votes Monster Raving Loony every time) and quite likes the EU, it's just that a Brit pissing off a European who thinks he has more authority than the Brit does is funny. ScottPat finds a lot of his comedy in how Britain still thinks that it is the ultimate superpower in the World but no one else does and also in historical European disputes.
Simsilikesims is the remaining active female admin on Uncyclopedia. She is, of course, an avid fan of all things related to the Sims: She owns all expansion packs of The Sims, The Sims 2, The Sims 3, and The Sims Medieval. She also plays the Sims Social on Facebook, and is sad that game is ending in June. She also likes Tycoon games, and hidden object games, but hasn't played them recently. Her music tastes range from 80's music to New Age, and will listen to almost anything except rap and country. As to favorite TV shows, she watches what everybody else is watching, unless she is alone, in which case, she watches news and doctor shows, with a little Wheel of Fortune, Dancing With the Stars, or The Voice on the side. She works as a tax preparer, a job that some would find dull, but she finds it a way to meet new and interesting people while making money. Some of her past jobs include call center work, data entry, internet shopping, and proofreading.
Spike's user page says he is either a professional writer or a minor-league baseball mascot dog, take your pick. He need not be addressed in ALL CAPITALS, but someone took the user name "Spike" in 2006 and made no contributions, so he could not get it, a sore point that may explain a lot. Spike was a regular at Sparky's Pub, but Uncyclopedia opened, then the pub closed; and working Uncyclopedia, both the music (mostly progressive rock) and the conversation is better, and there are nearly no fistfights. Attained the rank of exile in 2011, and of Admin in 2013. Go figure.