UnSignpost:Article/Anniversary of the July Coup
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T'was only a year ago that this newspaper was thrown into a ruinous civil war, that would span the course of a month and still the hatred reeks out of the staples between the paper to this day. The events of the July Coup have never been forgotten, when that person who thought he was something important's authority was over stepped by that other guy. The fighting and devastation that ensued was enough to rip to shreds any normal giant media company but not UnSignpost. We remained strong even when the papers were sent flying off the shelves.
To our younger noobs and newer readers we explain the events of the situation thus: ScottPat was a noble king, who owned a printing press and an infinite set of fairy monkeys with infinite magic typewriters. He had recently hired a brave knight whose name was Sir Anton to look after the castle of newspaper making while he was gone. When he came back the newspaper was completely re-formatted and his throne stolen. Anton and ScottPat fought a duel above lava and after finding out that ScottPat was his father's cousin's best friend's grandmother's postman's milkman, Anton won the duel and forced ScottPat to obey him. ScottPat capitulated his title, however Anton seeing what a massive dump of a company he had won, arranged a deal in which both would share the title of King of UnSignpost.
To avoid confrontation, Anton has taken a 3 week holiday off over the course of July in which he attempts to avoid ScottPat at all costs. We hope that this will not lead to a revengeful attempt to gain power by ScottPat in his absence.
So to all out there celebrating this wonderful occasion, Happy July Coup Anniversary!