UnSignpost:Article/A delicate matter of cutlery

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By ScottPat

Fork

A fork attempting to penetrate a plate in an action known as fertilisation.

'Twas pointed out recently by Uncyclopedians on a forum aptly titled Can we stop using the word fork now? that some extremist groups in the Uncyclopedia community were attempting to ban a term associated with kitchenware. The word in question, "fork" has been described by our own Uncyclopedia article as wedded to a spoon and father to the bastard "spork" and the extremist group's leader Aleister attempted to have the word banned on the account of the fact that too much vandalism and hatred had been caused last year by a certain fork, as it had punched holes in some of our articles. ScottPat, another extremist, then attempted to point out the fact that firstly banning the word would be censorship and bad news for chefs and secondly that soup spoons were just as, if not more potent a threat as forks to our beloved website. This was followed up by Anton's compromise proposal was to replace the word "fork" with a swearword (which we are unable to print thanks to some fucked-up Political Correctness policies). It later turned out that Anton hadn't realised that the word he used was a swearword as the term is widely used in Russia, where he comes from, to replace each pause between clauses.

The debate continued with a slippery sloped argument from ScottPat, who hinted that the website was forcing him to rename certain parts of his cutlery collection, a move he was not willing to be pushed into (or poked into). Then Anton went a step further saying that the word fork was such an intergral part of our website (afterall both Spike's and Cat the Colourful's talk pages were full of the word) that banning it would mean banning Uncyclopedia, which would be a let down to the thousands of academic institutions out there relying on us as a source of up-to-date knowledge.

The forum ended with some footnotes, one about deadly incidents involving exponentially curved spoons, one about a song or two and one about the Confederate Rebellion that is occuring on Uncyclopedia. UnSignpost would like to advise its readers (if they exist) that the matter has been left unresolved and the sanctions imposed on any Uncyclopedian caught using the word are as yet unknown. So far people have stuck to eating pasta with a spoon as they wait for further developments.

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