The changing face of the news
- By PuppyOnTheRadio
Since Guttenburg decided to give up on his plans for the world's first automated juicer and used his press instead to create movable type, the printed word has been the apex of communication. This use of printed records has increased the levels of communication and understanding among mankind, bringing us to the highly enlightened state of being that we have now achieved.
Dr.Skullhumper at an UnSignpost board meeting, printing the first UnSignpost issue.
And UnSignpost, as the second longest continuously running sometimes regular news broadcast that has appeared on the Internet being hosted by a comedic website that parodies the fifth most popular website on earth, is obviously at the forefront of modern communication.
Many years ago the first issue of the UnSignpost was produced, with the lofty prediction that it would last for another issue. Over the years it has been run
into the groundby many fine editors, but one thing has remained constant - it has always looked sort of the same.
Finally we have embraced the changes that are sweeping through more mainstream media, and have changed our look, along with introducing our new “digital” edition. The digital edition is located atUncyclopedia:UnSignpost/News, and the traditional edition has been shrunk. This fits in with the original stated message of UnSignpost:
“For too long, Uncyclopedia has been devoid of talk page spam, such as thank you templates and welcome messages. To rectify this, Dr. Skullthumper, a local doctor and zombie specialist, and Cajek, one of the last members of the light-blue-ish species of Cajeks, have created a newspaper in the latest exercise in futility to hit the site since Forum:Count to a million.”
Of course, there are some of those who will resist the changes being made in printed media and still wish to receive a printed copy of the news. As such, we will of course accommodate your needs, and you can request a printed copy simply by clicking Ctrl + P on your PC now.
Ban Virgin gets cherry popped
- By Spike
This is what happened to the last admin who abused his power. Will it happen again?
The nominal Editor-in-Chief of this publication (as your correspondent is confused as to which guy abdicated most recently) was chatting recently with an Admin and remarked about his desire to keep his sterling record of never-having-been-banned intact. This probably seemed like a safe remark, as the Admin in question has famously tried to guide Uncyclopedia away from its time-honored tradition of Joke Bans. It was not. We quickly set to reducing the ban from the 2-hour minimum shown on the pull-down menu — officially, the Uncyclopedian was banned for about 12 minutes — but he took the evening off, as our message to banned users has never been designed to be gentle.
The Uncyclopedian is back on-line, with compliments to the Admin and even a quick cleaning job to vacuum the transcript of the event into an archive with an utterly unguessable page name. The archive includes a tutorial from Shabidoo on the proud history of Joke Bans, which amuse all Uncyclopedians provided Admins only do it to each other.
The other Editor Guy, who is also a Ban Virgin, reacted with outrage. However, the moment had passed.
The Admin in question was speechless. "What can I say?" he told the UnSignpost. "I was getting ready for the Boston Red Sox to win the division, I was using the ban-stick as a baseball bat, just practicing my swing on that imaginary tricky curve ball, and it just slipped out of my hand!" It could happen again; after all, no one applies pine tar to a ban-stick.