edit From Pee Review
I'd just like some feedback on the first UnScript created here. ~
Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.
01:17, 29 March 2007 (UTC)
||Was quite funny, with some very funny jokes in there. Lacking of a punchline, however.
||The concept of it was quite hard to grasp, and it didn't really have any relation to the rest of the world, making it seem a bit irrelevant.
|Prose and formatting:
||Very good. The parts at the start with the shouting and stuff was a very funny part.
||It would have been better in a different format, like an unbook or etc. A script is quite hard to write a decent comedy in, especially if it is not going to be performed
||Was very funny, but it needs to be touched up quite a lot, add a few more jokes, at least one image, less gory parts and so on.
||User:Zerotrousers/sig 08:48, 29 March 2007 (UTC)