UnScripts:Waiting For Breivik

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{{UnScriptsHeader}}
 
{{UnScriptsHeader}}
   
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'''Waiting For [[Murderer|Breivik]]'''
 +
===Waiting For [[Murderer|Breivik]]===
   
−
''The Island of Utøya, [[Norway]]. Anders - a 60-year-old lumberjack from Trondheim is leaning against a tree. Leaves are floating on the water. Next to him is standing Dan - a 22-year-old student. Anders is holding an old axe in his hand. Dan is visibly unarmed and lightly dressed.''
 +
{{block|The Island of Utøya, [[Norway]]. Anders - a 60-year-old lumberjack from Trondheim is leaning against a tree. Leaves are floating on the water. Next to him is standing Dan - a 22-year-old student. Anders is holding an old axe in his hand. Dan is visibly unarmed and lightly dressed.}}
 
[[Image:Fjord01.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Peaceful?]]
  
[[Image:Fjord01.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Peaceful?]]
−
'''ANDERS''': Murderers always go back to a crime scene, don't they?
 +
{{line|ANDERS|Murderers always go back to a crime scene, don't they?}}
   
−
'''DAN''': If you say so, grandpa. I don't know. You know such things. You are older than me.
 +
{{line|DAN|If you say so, grandpa. I don't know. You know such things. You are older than me.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': Yeah, I know. I'm only trying to confirm my own belief.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|Yeah, I know. I'm only trying to confirm my own belief.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': I understand.
 +
{{line|DAN|I understand.
  +
{{paren|After a few seconds of deep silence.}}
  +
Grandpa... If [[wikipedia:Anders Breivik|Anders Breivik]] came here, would you kill him?}}
   
−
''A few seconds of deep silence.''
 +
{{line|ANDERS|I guess I would.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Grandpa... If [[wikipedia:Anders Breivik|Anders Breivik]] came here, would you kill him?
 +
{{line|DAN|But if Breivik came here, I'm sure he would have his rifle, wouldn't he?}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': I guess I would.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|He definitely would.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': But if Breivik came here, I'm sure he would have his rifle, wouldn't he?
 +
{{line|DAN|So, how would you kill him, if you have only your old axe?}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': He definitely would.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|I will think 'bout it, when he comes.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': So, how would you kill him, if you have only your old axe?
 +
{{line|DAN|I believe you know what you are doing. If Breivik came here, I wouldn't even try to kill him. I'd rather be killed by him.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': I will think 'bout it, when he comes.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|You're talking shit, Dan.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': I believe you know what you are doing. If Breivik came here, I wouldn't even try to kill him. I'd rather be killed by him.
 +
{{line|DAN|No, grandpa. I'd rather die. If I had survived that massacre, I would be now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Dying is much easier.}}
−  
−
'''ANDERS''': You're talking shit, Dan.
  
−  
−
'''DAN''': No, grandpa. I'd rather die. If I had survived that massacre, I would be now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Dying is much easier.
  
 
[[Image:Scream10.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Halitosis!]]
  
[[Image:Scream10.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Halitosis!]]
−
'''ANDERS''': You don't know what you are talking about Dan.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|You don't know what you are talking about Dan.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': I know grandpa! If I had killed Breivik, I would go to [[Hell]]!
 +
{{line|DAN|I know grandpa! If I had killed Breivik, I would go to [[Hell]]!}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': No, you wouldn't.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|No, you wouldn't.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': What do you mean by that, grandpa?
 +
{{line|DAN|What do you mean by that, grandpa?}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': Killing such a devil could be only a good deed. Anyway, your mother comes from England, which makes you a half-Englishman.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|Killing such a devil could be only a good deed. Anyway, your mother comes from England, which makes you a half-Englishman.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': So what?
 +
{{line|DAN|So what?}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': So you wouldn't go to Hell. [[God]] is an [[English|Englishman]] after all. And the English are the Chosen People.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|So you wouldn't go to Hell. [[God]] is an [[English|Englishman]] after all. And the English are the Chosen People.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Yeah... You are right. If Breivik came here, I would kill him with my bare hands!
 +
{{line|DAN|Yeah... You are right. If Breivik came here, I would kill him with my bare hands!}}
   
−
''Anders remains silent.''
 +
{{line|ANDERS|paren=Remains silent}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Grandpa... I've just had a crazy thought.
 +
{{line|DAN|Grandpa... I've just had a crazy thought.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': What thought?
 +
{{line|ANDERS|What thought?}}
   
−
'''DAN''': If there were 99 Breiviks in Utøya... how would that end?
 +
{{line|DAN|If there were 99 Breiviks in Utøya... how would that end?}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': Beats me. Have no idea.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|Beats me. Have no idea.}}
 
[[Image:Norwegians01.jpg|thumb|right|230px|Related?]]
  
[[Image:Norwegians01.jpg|thumb|right|230px|Related?]]
−
'''DAN''': Well, I can think of two ways out. The first one is that every Breivik kills one Breivik leaving one Breivik alive.
 +
{{line|DAN|Well, I can think of two ways out. The first one is that every Breivik kills one Breivik leaving one Breivik alive.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': And he would be caught by the police.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|And he would be caught by the police.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Yep. And the second one is that one Breivik - the strongest one - kills all the other Breiviks like in the ''[[United Kingdom|first-past-the-post electoral]] system''.
 +
{{line|DAN|Yep. And the second one is that one Breivik - the strongest one - kills all the other Breiviks like in the ''[[United Kingdom|first-past-the-post electoral]] system''.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': And he would still be caught by the police.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|And he would still be caught by the police.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Yeah... Why do you stress the catching part so much?
 +
{{line|DAN|Yeah... Why do you stress the catching part so much?}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': He should've been shot dead that day. Had I been there, I would have done so.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|He should've been shot dead that day. Had I been there, I would have done so.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Right. Where's Breivik now?
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{{line|DAN|Right. Where's Breivik now?}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': He's in prison.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|He's in prison.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Why do you want to kill him?
 +
{{line|DAN|Why do you want to kill him?}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': I don't know. I took my axe and came here. Not much thought 'bout that.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|I don't know. I took my axe and came here. Not much thought 'bout that.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': If he came here, he is nuts.
 +
{{line|DAN|If he came here, he is nuts.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': He ''is'' nuts anyway. Even worse that this.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|He ''is'' nuts anyway. Even worse that this.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Anyway, grandpa. Do you think [[wikipedia:Unabomber|Unabomber]] should sue Breivik for copyright infringement of his manifesto?
 +
{{line|DAN|Anyway, grandpa. Do you think [[wikipedia:Unabomber|Unabomber]] should sue Breivik for copyright infringement of his manifesto?}}
 
[[Image:Climbing.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Exercise!]]
  
[[Image:Climbing.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Exercise!]]
−
'''ANDERS''': Why would he want to do that?
 +
{{line|ANDERS|Why would he want to do that?}}
   
−
'''DAN''': I'm not sure but he must be terribly bored in prison. He spends 23 hours a day closed in a dark airless prison cell, so if he sued Breivik, it would be some kind of fun for him, wouldn't it be?
 +
{{line|DAN|I'm not sure but he must be terribly bored in prison. He spends 23 hours a day closed in a dark airless prison cell, so if he sued Breivik, it would be some kind of fun for him, wouldn't it be?}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': You might be right.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|You might be right.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': If I were the Unabomber, I would sue Breivik.
 +
{{line|DAN|If I were the Unabomber, I would sue Breivik.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': And I would kill both.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|And I would kill both.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': That's not good of you, grandpa.
 +
{{line|DAN|That's not good of you, grandpa.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': I know. But I'm old and I don't care.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|I know. But I'm old and I don't care.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': But you ''should'' care. Breivik is in prison and [[leftism|Norwegian system will do everything possible to bring Breivik back to society]].
 +
{{line|DAN|But you ''should'' care. Breivik is in prison and [[leftism|Norwegian system will do everything possible to bring Breivik back to society]].}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': We don't need him. He should [[death penalty|be hanged]].
 +
{{line|ANDERS|We don't need him. He should [[death penalty|be hanged]].}}
   
−
'''DAN''': But we're in Norway.
 +
{{line|DAN|But we're in Norway.}}
 
[[Image:Straitjacket1.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Constricted?]]
  
[[Image:Straitjacket1.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Constricted?]]
−
'''ANDERS''': People can be hung anywhere.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|People can be hung anywhere.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Not in Norway. In Norway people can only hang themselves.
 +
{{line|DAN|Not in Norway. In Norway people can only hang themselves.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': That's an idea.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|That's an idea.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': You can't make Breivik hang himself.
 +
{{line|DAN|You can't make Breivik hang himself.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': If there will be no other way to kill him, I will try that.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|If there will be no other way to kill him, I will try that.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Crazy idea.
 +
{{line|DAN|Crazy idea.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': We're all a bit crazy, aren't we?
 +
{{line|ANDERS|We're all a bit crazy, aren't we?}}
   
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'''DAN''': ''You'' are crazy, grandpa.
 +
{{line|DAN|''You'' are crazy, grandpa.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': You are irritating me Dan.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|You are irritating me Dan.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': So imagine that I'm not here.
 +
{{line|DAN|So imagine that I'm not here.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': No, I won't
 +
{{line|ANDERS|No, I won't.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': I will make you think I'm not here.
 +
{{line|DAN|I will make you think I'm not here.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': You can't do that.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|You can't do that.}}
 
[[File:Man-holding-an-axe-leaning-against-a-tree.jpg|right|thumb|230px|Wood!]]
  
[[File:Man-holding-an-axe-leaning-against-a-tree.jpg|right|thumb|230px|Wood!]]
−
'''DAN''': Yes, I can.
 +
{{line|DAN|Yes, I can.
−
+
{{paren|Short silence.}}
−
''Short silence.''
 +
How long are we going to wait for him?}}
−  
−
'''DAN''': How long are we going to wait for him?
  
   
−
'''ANDERS''': No more than 21 years. He should be pardoned by then.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|No more than 21 years. He should be pardoned by then.}}
   
−
'''DAN''': Breivik will never come.
 +
{{line|DAN|Breivik will never come.}}
   
−
''Close-up of Anders' face.''
 +
{{block|Close-up of Anders' face.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': Yeah, I know.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|Yeah, I know.}}
   
−
''Camera gets back to its original position. We see no sign of Dan.''
 +
{{block|Camera gets back to its original position. We see no sign of Dan.}}
   
−
'''ANDERS''': Neither will you Dan. God rest your soul.
 +
{{line|ANDERS|Neither will you Dan. God rest your soul.}}
   
−
''Anders is still leaning against a tree looking eastward.''
 +
{{block|Anders is still leaning against a tree looking eastward.}}
   
 
{{VFH}}
  
{{VFH}}

Revision as of 21:59, September 7, 2011

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Waiting For Breivik

The Island of Utøya, Norway. Anders - a 60-year-old lumberjack from Trondheim is leaning against a tree. Leaves are floating on the water. Next to him is standing Dan - a 22-year-old student. Anders is holding an old axe in his hand. Dan is visibly unarmed and lightly dressed.

Fjord01
Peaceful?
ANDERS
Murderers always go back to a crime scene, don't they?
DAN
If you say so, grandpa. I don't know. You know such things. You are older than me.
ANDERS
Yeah, I know. I'm only trying to confirm my own belief.
DAN

I understand.

(After a few seconds of deep silence.)
Grandpa... If Anders Breivik came here, would you kill him?
ANDERS
I guess I would.
DAN
But if Breivik came here, I'm sure he would have his rifle, wouldn't he?
ANDERS
He definitely would.
DAN
So, how would you kill him, if you have only your old axe?
ANDERS
I will think 'bout it, when he comes.
DAN
I believe you know what you are doing. If Breivik came here, I wouldn't even try to kill him. I'd rather be killed by him.
ANDERS
You're talking shit, Dan.
DAN
No, grandpa. I'd rather die. If I had survived that massacre, I would be now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Dying is much easier.
Scream10
Halitosis!
ANDERS
You don't know what you are talking about Dan.
DAN
I know grandpa! If I had killed Breivik, I would go to Hell!
ANDERS
No, you wouldn't.
DAN
What do you mean by that, grandpa?
ANDERS
Killing such a devil could be only a good deed. Anyway, your mother comes from England, which makes you a half-Englishman.
DAN
So what?
ANDERS
So you wouldn't go to Hell. God is an Englishman after all. And the English are the Chosen People.
DAN
Yeah... You are right. If Breivik came here, I would kill him with my bare hands!
ANDERS
(Remains silent)
DAN
Grandpa... I've just had a crazy thought.
ANDERS
What thought?
DAN
If there were 99 Breiviks in Utøya... how would that end?
ANDERS
Beats me. Have no idea.
Norwegians01
Related?
DAN
Well, I can think of two ways out. The first one is that every Breivik kills one Breivik leaving one Breivik alive.
ANDERS
And he would be caught by the police.
DAN
Yep. And the second one is that one Breivik - the strongest one - kills all the other Breiviks like in the first-past-the-post electoral system.
ANDERS
And he would still be caught by the police.
DAN
Yeah... Why do you stress the catching part so much?
ANDERS
He should've been shot dead that day. Had I been there, I would have done so.
DAN
Right. Where's Breivik now?
ANDERS
He's in prison.
DAN
Why do you want to kill him?
ANDERS
I don't know. I took my axe and came here. Not much thought 'bout that.
DAN
If he came here, he is nuts.
ANDERS
He is nuts anyway. Even worse that this.
DAN
Anyway, grandpa. Do you think Unabomber should sue Breivik for copyright infringement of his manifesto?
Climbing
Exercise!
ANDERS
Why would he want to do that?
DAN
I'm not sure but he must be terribly bored in prison. He spends 23 hours a day closed in a dark airless prison cell, so if he sued Breivik, it would be some kind of fun for him, wouldn't it be?
ANDERS
You might be right.
DAN
If I were the Unabomber, I would sue Breivik.
ANDERS
And I would kill both.
DAN
That's not good of you, grandpa.
ANDERS
I know. But I'm old and I don't care.
ANDERS
We don't need him. He should be hanged.
DAN
But we're in Norway.
Straitjacket1
Constricted?
ANDERS
People can be hung anywhere.
DAN
Not in Norway. In Norway people can only hang themselves.
ANDERS
That's an idea.
DAN
You can't make Breivik hang himself.
ANDERS
If there will be no other way to kill him, I will try that.
DAN
Crazy idea.
ANDERS
We're all a bit crazy, aren't we?
DAN
You are crazy, grandpa.
ANDERS
You are irritating me Dan.
DAN
So imagine that I'm not here.
ANDERS
No, I won't.
DAN
I will make you think I'm not here.
ANDERS
You can't do that.
Man-holding-an-axe-leaning-against-a-tree
Wood!
DAN

Yes, I can.

(Short silence.)
How long are we going to wait for him?
ANDERS
No more than 21 years. He should be pardoned by then.
DAN
Breivik will never come.

Close-up of Anders' face.

ANDERS
Yeah, I know.

Camera gets back to its original position. We see no sign of Dan.

ANDERS
Neither will you Dan. God rest your soul.

Anders is still leaning against a tree looking eastward.

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