UnScripts:Kanye West at the MTV Movie Awards

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Christianbaledevil
Christian Bale, before and after Kanye West's interruption.

At the 2009 MTV Movie Awards, Christian Bale was making his acceptance speech for winning Best Hero award for The Dark Knight, when hiphop artist Kanye West got on stage and took the microphone from him, saying:

“Yo Christian, I'm really happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but Adam West was one of the best Batmans of all time... OF ALL TIME!”
~ Kanye West on obvious bias for someone with the same skin color/last name as him

Booed by the audience, Kanye West flipped them off and then left the stage. Too angry to finish his acceptance speech, Bale marched off the stage, presumably to get a baseball bat and a pair of pliers. During the commercial break, Vin Diesel reportedly walked by the rapper and shook his head in disgust. He declined killing him, citing that "if watching him die on stage wasn't enough, what Christian's gonna do to him will be". Kanye West was ejected from the remainder of the show; partly for his own safety, partly because nobody wanted him there in the first place.

After Adam West won his Lifetime Achievement Award at the ceremony, he wanted to make sure that despite being an honorary black person and sharing the same last name with him, he was not related nor in anyway affiliated with Kanye West. He then asked Christian Bale to share the stage with him and finish his acceptance speech, gaining a rapturous applause from the audience. In his new speech, he thanked his Baleist followers, Gerard Butler, and his family, who he said would not have to worry about being beaten when he gets home, as he would be focusing his attention on Kanye West for the time being.

On the day after the awards, several celebrities and fellow Al Pacino Academy members spoke out against the incident through various media and online blogging outlets, condemning West for his verbal outburst,

The night following his outburst at the awards show, West appeared on The Jay Leno Show in order to defend his actions. Under questioning by Leno about the incident, West delivered an unapologetic speech to Bale, which was met by boo-ing from the audience once again. Similar to the awards night, he flipped off the audience and remained adamant in his right to express his godly verdict of who should have won the award. In a twist planned by Leno, Bale was listening to the interview backstage and was brought out by Leno to confront Kanye. The transcript is as follows:

The Jay Leno Show (September 14th 2009)

INT. JAY LENO'S STUDIO

Jay Leno sits behind his desk, with Kanye West sitting at the side of the desk, in front of an audience. Kanye is wearing some weird kind of glasses, probably from a Back to the Future II prop sale. His hair is cut in a strange style, with many interweaving lines and shapes. Leno is as fat as ever...The audience has been forewarned by Leno before Kanye's arrival that Christian Bale is backstage listening, leading to some dramatic irony and pitiful attempts of not so subtle in-humor by Leno to the audience.


LENO: So err...Kanye, welcome to the show...(Motions to audience to applaud, who do so unenthusiastically)

KANYE: And I thank you Jay Leno, for being the platform to transmit my voice of greatness...

LENO: errr... yeahhhh... so anyway, how've you been since that incident you had with the err... Christian Bale...

KANYE: Oh man! You gon' ask me bout that shit! I thought you was here to talk to me about my super-sellin', million-makin', foundation-shakin' album of greatness, which ain't even been released yet! Hell, I ain't even wrote the lyrics yet! WHAT!!

LENO: Well... er... let's just stick to the... err... topic at hand...

NegroJesus
Contrary to Kanye West's claims, neither God nor Black Jesus nominated him to be the voice of a generation.

KANYE: Straight up Dawg, Christian Bale ain't sweatin' me none! I keep hearin' shit from my homies and on the news...wit' some fake-ass buster tellin' me "Oh, Christian Bale gon' kick ya ass"... and "Christian Bale gon' tie a rope around ya neck an lynch ya"... oh, and "Christian Bale gon' take a baseball bat, stick it up ya ass and turn ya into a Popsicle stick"... And you know what? I ain't seen shit yet!!! Christian Bale is as fake as they come, and there ain't no way he can see me! Ain't no-one can match my greatness! I'm the voice of a motherfuckin' generation, nominated by Black Jesus and God herself! Ain't no-one can take me! Sucka!

LENO: But don't you err... feel kind of sorry for... taking Christian's award away from him. You probably stamped on a lot of his pride that night...

KANYE: Ain't no matter who gets hurt in my crusade for the masses!! It's my duty to society!! Even if society don't know it at the time! Shit, I'm more like Batman than he is! Should rename him Blackman!!!


Audience starts boo-ing


KANYE: Y'all don't know me! I'm the voice of a generation! I can hear the real lyrics of the Batman Theme Tune cause I'm an artist! I can hear those honky white motherfuckers from the 50's singing "NiggaNigga NiggaNigga NiggaNigga NiggaNigga BLACKMAN!" Y'all can't see me! I'm a motherfuckin' genius!


Audience boos even more


LENO: Well, Kanye. I'm err... sorry you feel that way. Because we caught up with Christian earlier and he had this to say. Let's take a look folks!


FADE OUT.

Cuts to an earlier interview with Christian Bale, which can be seen below in all its 8-bit Nintendo glory:

ChristianBaleKanye
Christian Bale, telling us what that is...

























FADE IN

Returns back to the live interview with Jay Leno and Kanye West. Kanye West's jaw has dropped a large amount, especially considering the size of his mouth.


Leno: So, errr... now you've seen this, has it changed your opinion or perception about what happened.


KanyeWestHitler
Kanye West busts out his best Hitler impression in a misjudged attempt to connect with white people...

Kanye straightens himself up and fixes his glasses.


Kanye: Well, as I said before, I am the voice of a Generation, and must be heard. And if this punk is too jealous of the magnitude that I possess from this responsibility, then he can come speak to me face to face, instead of making some faggotty love letter videotape with yo' fat-ass, crying about how I hurt his feelings in the crusade for greatness. He can come find me, Motherfucker!

Leno: Well, it's funny you should say that, cause have we got a surprise for you. (Winks at Audience) Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a special welcome to Christian Bale!


Christian Bale enters from the side of the stage, looking majorly pissed off.


Bale: You're a fuckin' dead man, West!


Kanye tries to escape, but trips up on the heels of the baggy jeans that he has worn extremely low in an attempt to be Gangsta. Christian Bale does some ninja shit that he normally only does in a Batsuit, and pounces on Kanye, locking him in a sleeper hold. Kanye activates his self-defense mechanism, and his head starts to inflate like a balloon. Fearing for the audience's safety, Leno has the security break them up, and West cancels his defense mechanism. Christian tries to get in between the security guards, while Kanye stands far back.


Kanye: Why you tryin' to get all up in my kool-aid? Huh? Why you tryin' to get all up in my kool-aid?

Leno: Okay boys, let's settle down.


Christian shrugs off the security guards, and he and Kanye reluctantly take their seats next to Leno.


Angrykanyewest
What do you mean God and Black Jesus said they never nominated me to be the voice of a generation!
That's some white, hate-game, bullshit propaganda!
Fine!
I am the voice of a generation until God, Black Jesus AND Barack Obama say otherwise...
hold on...
he called me a WHAT?!

Leno: Now err Christian, if I didn't already says so, Welcome to the show. So how've you been?

Bale: I've just been keepin' busy y'know. Workin' out, learning my lines, boxing. That kind of thing.

Kanye: *Pffttt* The Sport of the White Man!

Bale: What the fuck are you talkin' about? Some of the best boxers are black, you prick!

Kanye: Name one, Cracker.

Bale: Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Joe Frazier...

Kanye: Nah man, they old. That was in the time befo' Racism. What I'm sayin' is that there ain't no brothers in boxing today.

Bale: Lennox Lewis, Mike Tyson... you know what, you really are just a stupid motherfucker, aren't you!

Kanye: errr... hey hey (to audience) Y'all just heard him. He just straight called me a nigga!

Bale: No I didn't!

Leno: Okay let's get back on track. Christian, can you just calmly communicate to Kanye how he made you feel, and Kanye, can you just quietly listen. Remember guys, use feeling words.

Bale: Well, I guess since then, I've been feeling sad... betrayed, depressed and just generally pissed off, y'know. That award meant a lot to me. It's like, since Heath died, he's just been getting all my awards, and actings become like really hollow and meaningless to me. Even beating my family when they come to me asking for money has lost its novelty. And that award was like an oasis in the desert of Heath Ledger's ashes, and you... you took it from me.

Leno: So Kanye, now you've heard it from Christian, face to face, do you realize how much damage you've caused?

Kanye: I guess there were some casualties in my war fo' my people. And I do realize that I may have hurt Christian's feelings; white and slave-driving as they may be. I can remember taking the mike off him on that stage and speaking my truth, and I knew somethin' was wrong when I passed him the mike back and he didn't continue speakin'. Then I looked up and saw those beady white-devil eyes of his glaring back at me, so I just broke my ass outta there an' left.

Leno:So, is there anything you think you should say to Christian?

Kanye: You know, Jay. I think they' is. Christian... I am sorry that you will never be as great as me. And I am sorry that the present and future Generations will not respect you as much as me. I am sorry that you are white, and I am s...

Bale: OH, THAT FUCKIN' DOES IT!!!


Christian Bale pounces on Kanye and tears him apart with his bare hands

Blood Spatter

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