User:Zheliel/UnScripts:Buying Chicken Rice
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
At a Singaporean hawker store. Two male ang morhs (westerners) trying out authentic Singaporeanfrom some female storekeeper. Orian loves interrupting people but kind, good, Max is patient. A bit. And Max speaks Estuary English.
Scene 1:What's that?
/two ang morhs spot a cosy store somewhere. Where? We don't know... ...
Orian: Say, Max, what's that there?
Max: What? What's that that you're talking about? I don't see no "that", Orian. What I see is-
Orian: Ah, my friend, you see that little shop thing o'er there, don't you?
/points to Chicken Rice store
Max: Ah, that! My guess is that 'tis a food store. See those tortured hens? Burned even!
Ang Morh 1: Hello there!
Ang Morh 2: Hi, we would-
Storekeeper: What lah. I vely vely busy one leh.
Ang Morh 1: One? What is this "one" that you are talking about?
Storekeeper: One mean one lah. Go cock oredi ah, you peopre.
Ang Morh 1: What cock? Where? I demand that you stop the abusive use of English.
Ang Morh 2: And it's not my fault. I didn't say anything. Well, except for earlier when you interrupted m-
Ang Morh 2: (fuming) You interrupted me again. And what's this talk about co-
Ang Morh 1: What Gahmen? Is... is it a computer game? (whispering)Don't tell my parents, but I love new primitive Asian games, like pin the tail on the donkey.
Storekeeper: (looks around in fear)Yah, I also got sell black mahrket drug one. But dourn telll anybordy. Ish a secret one. I make a lot a lot of morney. I oso sell gahmen-no-like disk one. I buy frorm Maysia and sell here one.
Ang Morh 2: (very, very angry about being interrupted) What's this rubbish about disks-
Ang Morh 1: Oh, you mean pirated disks from Malaysia? So do you have Gahmen? I heard that the disk is called Rise of Gahmens. Am I right?
Ang Morh 2: You mean Malaysi-
Storekeeper: (brushes him off) ya ya ya. yaya papaya. So you wahnt? Ish vely vely cheep. $60.
Ang Morh 1: For Rise of Gahmens. Deal. Hold on... (takes money out of pocket.) Here. Money. Disk?
Storekeeper: Yalah. Wait a while arh. You wait a leetle leetle while can oredi. (goes to the back of store, comes out with a disk.)
Ang Morh 1: Wow. An authentic primitive gift.
Storekeeper: So my $60 where arh?
Ang Morh 1: Here it is. I'll buy it.
Angry Ang Morh 2: So where's my Chicken ri-
Ang Morh 1: Oh! Yes! The Chicken Rice! Sowhere is it?
Storekeeper:Chicken rice? We got roasted duck rice, ah, braised duck rice, ah, we also have ah that one. That... that curry fish rice.
Ang Morh 2: I thought this was a chi-
Storekeeper: Aiyoh! of corse we have cheeken rice. But also need to make a living what. Sell chicken rice cannot make living one. I got Mei Mei and Kor Kor to take care of one you know.
Ang Morh 2: Well, I'll have the Chicken ri-
Storekeeper: Can one. If you want drink we arlso have cock. Big cock, small cock, medium cock, we all also have.
Ang Morh 1: (coughs softly) I think you mean coke.
Ang Morh 2: Yeah, don't you mea-
Storekeeper: Of course one lah! If you no wan cock, we arlso have appre juice.
Ang Morh 2: (infuriated) Whatever. Cock it is. I'll take-
Storekeeper: Can! I do now!
Storekeeper: You come back again can right! I got more deesk. Good quarity.
Ang Morh 1: Sure thing! I'll come back soon!
Ang Morh 2: (mutters) Never.