UnReviews:Temperpedic Swedish sleep system
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|I am so freaking angry!|
Temperpedic Swedish sleep system, my ass.I cannot believe how time flies when you are well rested. I signed up for the so-called no questions asked trial period for the Temper-pedic mattress. Well it should be no questions "answered"! I have a question, why was it ONE DAY after the trial ended - that I found it was not the solution to my court ordered anger management mandate. GOD they are so STUPID! Why the hell some damn company would have the name temper in their product that has nothing to do with tantrums or even temperature, I cannot say.
IDIOTS ALL. Those damn Swedes with their fancy cars with the arrows and the shields. Where would they be if it wasn't for us taking all their flat box furniture and fancy expensive beds? I could not believe how much this bed costs, and when I realized it was just my first payment amount, I really hit the roof. If I was not as rested as I am, I would be even more angry. Let me tell you as I throw my fits and bang my feet against the bed in frustration, my wife doesn't even feel a thing. That kind of pisses me off too. But when I do fall asleep, its such a restful sleep, my angry dreams all seem to take place in meadows, filled with baby koala bears doing somersaults. Its just the cutest, but anyway, back to the rip off of the millennium, there is no anger management button on the bed. I am still quick to anger, and slow to forgive. That salesman had better not see me coming, because as well rested as I am, I can outrun about anyone if I am mad enough, and let me tell you I am.
I cannot recommend the anger management bed Temper Pedic. It is miss-named and really just a giant heavy sponge. You will get even more pissed when you see how expensive it is.
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's UnReviews series. See more UnReviews
This subject is 1 out of 5 stars!
That's really bad...