UnPoetia:T.S. Elliot Is Dead

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250px-Unpoetia_logo.jpg Poetry for people who hate poetry

T.S. Elliot Is Dead
originally written by Colonel Reginald H. Fessenden, DVM


FALSE teeth mustache and doorknobs cheering [1]
several crowds of people walking
through deep waters
all cry together
for each other and for the shepherds [2]
whose lambs have shriveled up and melted
and whose caps are all felted.
Is it time to go? I scream
Is it time to go? I beam
But Thomas Stearns Elliot does not answer [3]
they called him the hyacinth girl.
Down and down and down and down.
Is this a tunnel or a foot bridge? [4]
Great Zeus of the clouds please
let us all hear your mighty roar
like unto the lions of the 4th Great Age.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

aus meinen Dingen zukünftige Nächte.
Jetzt graut mir fast vor dieser nächsten Nacht,
allein mit diesem Kranz, den ich gemacht, [5]

Uh man's gotta have shoes t' walk out on the street.
My eyes are burnt and bleeding and all that looks like a monkey on a silver bar.
Today we all walk in the waters of the Styx
the mud is a deep green, full of lettuce
fire flowing across the horizon. [6]
But Thomas Stearns Eliot does not answer.


But Thomas Stearns Eliot does not answer.


But Thomas Stearns Eliot does not answer.



  1. Goble-woble-doo-dah
  2. Historically speaking, they were actually goatherds
  3. Probably because he died on January 4 1965
  4. Neither. In fact, it is a large loaf of banana bread
  5. Kinder gerissen haben im Spiel; aus den offenen
  6. Snakes do not have opposable thumbs.

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