UnPoetia:Naughty Limericks
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| Poetry for people who hate poetry |
- There was a young lady from Leith,
- Who would circumcise men with her teeth,
- It wasn't for fame
- Or love of the game
- But to get at the cheese underneath.
- There was a young man named Irv
- Who's car was beginning to swerve
- The police opened his ride
- And found him with his bride
- Twas fucking that caused him to curve
- There was a young man called Trenton
- Who flew to DC from Denton
- He walked into the White House
- Nearly blew all the lights out
- When he saw Monica screwing Bill Clinton
- There was a young actress from Crewe,
- Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
- The Bishop was quicker
- And thicker and slicker,
- And two inches longer than you.
- There was a young vampire called Mabel,
- whose periods were always quite stable,
- At every full moon
- She took out a spoon,
- And drank herself under the table.
- There was a young plumber from Lee,
- who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
- She said "stop your plumbing,
- I think someone's coming,";
- Said the plumber, still plumbing "It's me!"
- A kinky young girl from Bexhill,
- Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
- They found her vagina
- In North Carolina,
- And bits of her tits in Brazil.
- There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
- Making love to his girl in the rockery,
- she said "Look, you've got cum,
- All over my bum,
- This isn't a shag, it's a mockery."
- There was a young lassie from Morton,
- Who had one long tit and one short 'ne,
- on top of all that,
- A great hairy twat,
- And a fart like a six fifty Norton.
- There was a young man from Harrow,
- Who had one as big as a marrow.
- He said to his tart,
- "Try this for a start.
- My balls are outside on a barrow."
- There was a young girl from Hitchen,
- Who was scratching her crutch in the kitchen.
- Her mother said "Rose,
- It's crabs I suppose".
- She said "Bollocks, get on with your knittin'"
- There was a young girl from Devizes,
- Who had tits of different sizes.
- One was quite small
- Almost nothing at all.
- But the other was big and won prizes.
