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the near-complete compilation
of literary abomination
...proudly, since 1586Main Page
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Poetry is an art form in which language is used for its obfuscatory qualities in addition to, or instead of, meaningful and useful content. Poetry has a long history, and early attempts to define poetry, such as Aristotle's Poetics, focused on the various uses of speech in rhetoric, drama, song and charming the togas off of potential bed buddies. Contemporary poets, such as Dylan Thomas, often identify poetry not as a literary genre within a set of genres, but as noble way of remaining unemployed and virtually useless to society. Poetry often uses condensed forms and conventions to reinforce or expand the meaning of the underlying words or to invoke irrational or sensual experiences in the reader, as well as using devices such as assonance, alliteration and the rhythm method to achieve musical or incendiary effects.

Recent Poems:

UnPoetia:Hampton Fruffleshire And His Fluffy PantsNot An Oak TreeThe Twelve Days of BlitzkriegPutingradI Am American and I'm Really Pissed OffThe Glorious War of IndependenceI Love the Smell of GasolineA Visit from SatanbearLove Letter from a Strange Boyfriend: A SonnetUnder the TableThe Judgement DayTen Little Porn $tarsFuck you GodI am the CalculatorHow crude!Ode To McDonald'sSong of the sea piratesWhen You Drive a ToyotaHobbits Are Not GayOde to Codeine's MumBirds of the HairPiPoems that don't rhymeA Barbecue to RememberInsulting Love PoemMy Face Is So FatSubliminal PoetryVanityParadise AbridgedWell-Oiled BirdsSelf-reference referenceUnicornsIn Rangoon at the stroke of noonLove Poem For The Cyber-AgeOde to GTA IVVogon Love PoemLittle BoyLittle yellow spiderCoupletSonnet About Not Having a MuseHaiku 457bThe First Draft of "Song of Myself"Nobody reads UnPoetia!The Apathy that is your FaceAbraham Lincoln's fair-weather waffle frolicA Mind-Bogglingly Accurate Definition of the Modern AgeThe Horrific Indifference of the Passage of TimeA Commie in My ClosetIsaiahYour First ComingOde To Mrs Amanda McKitterick RosShall I Compare Thee With Thy Mother, 'Ey?Divorce SongWhat is the matter with Mary Jane?Do Not Shag Gentle During That Good NightTao Te ChingDrunken Angst Directed at Girlfriend and those who care enough to cheer you upWuz da Nite Befo CrimmusAn Anthology of Baby and Midget PoetryI Hate Rappers Who Cannot Rhyme

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Quill Selected poem

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Do not mow bleckly o'er that dust mite,

For that hyperspace bypass to make way;

Rage, rage against the dying of the mite.

Though Vogons build their roads for reasons right,

Phlegg creatures may be caballed on the way;

Do not mow wreckly o'er that dust mite.

Tiny germs must we strive to treat polite;

Their frail souls might we trounce by our survey;

Rage against the death of the parasite.

Wild spores we catch and stun from flensome flight,

And learn, too late, by our error we slay.

Do not mow bleckly o'er that dust mite.

But men deserve death for their blinded sight;

A predator worthy of being prey;

Rage, rage against the dying of the mite.

Reduce the heathen from their errant height;

Curse, kill them now with your machines, I pray.

Do not mow wreckly o'er that dust mite,

Rage against the death of the parasite.Main Page

Quill Selected image

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Shakespeare

An unretouched photo of Billy Shakespeare.


Quill Quotes

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"I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."

~ Ogden NashMain Page
Quill Things you can do

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Well, writing a poem or two would surely help... Make a new poem

Too lazy? Search for someone else's work:

Quill Selected article

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Vogon poetic justice

Poetic justice is when justice is carried out with poetry. In court, for example, the defendant, plaintiff, justice, lawyers and jury all have to perform the whole trial in poetry or in rhyming prose. Blank verse is not permitted.

This can be done at the defendant's request (and amusement). Or, if the justice hearing the trial wishes it, whether or not the defendant wants it.

The best poetic justices and lawyers are Vogons as their poetry, even in judicial language, is the 33rd best poetry in the galaxy. Appeals are rare, as appellate court judges can rarely bear to read the transcripts. You see, the poetry judges are all Vogons, and a Vogon's idea of what is good poetry is unlike that of any other member of any other race in the multiverse.

Frankly, almost none of this is true. But I'm not telling what.

Quill Selected biography

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EdgarAllanPo

Edgar Allan Poe was an American writer (1809-1849) best known for his cheery visions of a utopian future, and colourful tattoos. His best known poem, The Raving, is about an excitable crowd of Britney Spears fans tapping on his chamber door, rapping on his chamber door, and occasionally crapping on his chamber floor. This crowd of lunatics repeatedly chant the word "Nevermore", on the Night's Plutonian shore. The half-sane narrator grieves over the loss of his Lenore™-brand cleaning detergent:

From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore.
For its rare and radiant colour, thats why angels use Lenore,
Spotless clothes forevermore.

Although he is often believed to have been the source of the phrase "po-faced", derived from "Poe-faced", in fact this term comes from the Po River in Italy, which is shaped like a man's face.

Quill Did you know?

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  • Only 76.2% of all poets, living or dead, are gay.
16.7% are bisexual, 5.4% are in denial about it, and 1.7% are asexual. The remainder are, in fact, straight.
  • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem She Came & Went is about a dead baby.
His daughter, but a dead baby none-the-less.
  • At the age of 12, Charles Dickens used to work in a boot-blacking factory.
Charles Dickens is the one who looks like Tim Burton.
  • A "huckleberry finn" is a type of berry bush native only to Missouri.
  • Geoffrey Chaucer was born on Retrocession Day (Taiwan).
  • Don't Say Goodbye by Edmund Spenser is the longest haiku ever written, at a whopping total of four lines.


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