UnNews talk:Main Page Archive01

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Breaking News Update

This question died in the Newsroom, so I'll bring it here and ask. Is there/should there be a template for Breaking News Updates? If not, is there a stantard for how those are handled in articles. I mean, we can't stop the news from happening, can we? --epynephrin 17:49, 19 May 2006 (UTC)

As far as I know, there is no current template for this. It wouldn't be hard to fake one, at least until someone with computer skillz (ie, not me) can get working on it. That's just my two cents, though.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 18:47, 19 May 2006 (UTC)
at the moment, I'm doing something to the effect of ==Update! Breaking News!== in front of the updated section. But that's just me. I also lack the skillz to make a template. --epynephrin 19:13, 19 May 2006 (UTC)

Popeye's Obituary

With all the talk about deadly spinach, isn't it time for Popeye to kick the bucket?

We're way ahead of you--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 04:57, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

Killing more Whitespace

To fill up that last three or four inches of "whitespace" on the UnNews main page, I put together a template that generates "headlines" from fifty years ago... --HPSigHP talk 15:25, 17 May 2006 (UTC)

that's been moved by Olipro, so apparently, the whitespace is staying, for now...--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 18:48, 19 May 2006 (UTC)
yeah, don't worry about the whitespace too much, if you take a look at wikinews, theirs is worse than ours, and really, it doesn't look all that bad :) --Olipro Icons-flag-gb Anchor (Harass) 20:49, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

We need news Quickies

We need short news items, or quickies, for people that don't want to write an entire story. Like those side stories on the onion. Family Guy Guy 15:51, 21 April 2006 (UTC)

SHH! We aren't trying to be The Onion, we're trying parody Wikinews! Right everyone?  ::Big smile:: In all seriousness, though, I think it'd be a good idea to take the old "In the News" template that was once on the front page and put it on this page, if only to give some people who're just starting a way to practice writing funny headlines.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 19:23, 21 April 2006 (UTC)
Yes, replacing the weather report with it would be a good idea; that weather thing has become un-amusing and boring now, so a change could be good :P --Olipro Icons-flag-gb Co-Anc (Harass) 16:52, 22 April 2006 (UTC)
If the weather thing was done right, it would be good. Unfortunately, it is done really poorly, therefore, it sucks. By all means, let's replace the weather with the headlines. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 17:00, 22 April 2006 (UTC)
Only if thats the only thing you read...ooohh right you aren't the only reader here. So soorry, I guess if you had an original idea...everybody worries about copy this copy that...don't sign this but sign that...ooops I thought I was on Wikinews for a moment...ok I'll put the Bud-ligh down... -- Hawthorn Peebles 00:28, 26 April 2006 (UTC)

Ok, we've got Quickies now, put the fork down! --Olipro Icons-flag-gb Co-Anc (Harass) 14:58, 30 April 2006 (UTC)


Glad to see somebody updated the gambling section with a stock tip. Funny! -- Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 18:35, 12 April 2006 (UTC)


I see a shortage in ads here, I mean, what's a newspaper without ads? What, are we, savages? Maybe even one of those crappy local newspapers? This needs a advertising section, desperately.

And maybe an employment section too, but that's for later. -Tanktunker

Does nobody read the disscussion or did everybody suddenly catch crippling apathy? -Tanktunker

Hardly anybody reads this... You should also sign your posts CORRECTLY (by placing 4 tildes (~~~~). As for the idea: nah... I'm not fond of that one... You may, if you so desire, add a FAKE ad here and there in your UnNews article(s) (just makes sure it's funny in the article as well) but I see no use for a sepereate section. --Sir Mon€¥$ignSTFU F@H|PLS|UotM 21:42, 10 April 2006 (UTC)
there is an article entitled Commercial Break which would probably fit somewhere, if linked in. Perhaps somewhere on the UnNews mainpage, something to the effect of [[Commercial Break|and now a word from our sponsors...]] --epynephrin 16:40, 30 May 2006 (UTC)

News Archive

The news list at the bottom of the page (the one that's now extremely long) is going to become a problem if something isn't done about it. I suggest someone go take a look at wikinews and see how they're doing theirs, since the idea of arranging it in a date-like format, showing the current day, and the 3 preceeding days is a far better way of doing things, also, I believe the why they are acheiving it will also account for days where no news is created, so presumably, this could be the answer to our prayers --Olipro Icons-flag-gb (Harass) 12:58, 8 April 2006 (UTC)

UnNews Jingle

Well, seeing as you've probably no doubt suffered one of my broadcasts by now, the only interesting bit in it being my jingle, I'll release it for all of you to experiment (or more probably not) with; The Jingle. enjoy --Olipro Icons-flag-gb (Harass) 21:07, 4 April 2006 (UTC)

UnNews Page Design

Anyone agree that UnNews would be better if it had the same theme style as on the main page, if people voice a general 'yay' then I'll draft one that nicks the current templates, and see what the general reaction turns out to be... --Olipro 21:54, 30 March 2006 (UTC)

UnNews is meant to look like Wikinews. -- Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 00:26, 2 April 2006 (UTC)
Aye, and that it does, oh well, carry on. --Olipro (Harass) 02:59, 2 April 2006 (UTC)

Got a new gripe now (huzzah); The news-by-month list at the bottom on Wikinews includes news from the previous month when it rolls over (whilst there's no news) I'd say it'd be a good idea to copy this since staring at a blank list or very short one is pointless --Olipro Icons-flag-gb (Harass) 16:28, 3 April 2006 (UTC)

Well, it definitely looks like Wikinews now... --Olipro Icons-flag-gb Co-Anc (Harass) 16:42, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

...thought something smelled funny... - Hawthorn Peebles 18:03, 1 May 2006 (UTC)


Do you guys think UnNews would get more traffic if the link in the Navigation box were changed from current events to UnNews? -- Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 18:42, 11 March 2006 (UTC)


What do you guys think about adding a "discuss this story" link to the end of every article? It would link directly to that article's talk page, and would encourage more specific feedback on improving the quality (or lack thereof) of our UnNews. I'd add the links myself, but I'm unfamiliar with the various templates, and I'd hate to be the scapegoat if something went horribly, horribly wrong... --Jordanus 22:24, 21 Sep 2005 (UTC)

Would be easy enough to change via Template:TopStoryTemplate, however, I ain't touching that (the warning messages are spooky). --Splaka 22:42, 21 Sep 2005 (UTC)
Heh, Elvis got it. Btw Elvy: You might wanna put those links inside <span class="plainlinks"> --Splaka 23:15, 21 Sep 2005 (UTC)
Whoa! Something I said actually made a difference? I feel so... special. --Jordanus 23:17, 21 Sep 2005 (UTC)

UnNews: Your source for up to the minute Unformation

I think that line sounds pretty sextastic--Nytrospawn 01:36, 20 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Done. --Famine 13:50, 20 Aug 2005 (UTC)

I'm sort-of basing some of this formatting on cnn.com. Bad idea? --Famine 22:14, 1 Aug 2005 (UTC)

If we can we should base it on Wikinews (is my personal view)--Sir Elvis KUN | Talk 22:39, 1 Aug 2005 (UTC)
I agree with Sir Elvis. --Savethemooses 23:43, 1 Aug 2005 (UTC)

That would presuppose that I visit wikipedia often enough to notice it has news. (Or a sister site which does news) Perhaps I should take a look... --Famine 00:58, 2 Aug 2005 (UTC)

I am now educated, and the page comes along. Still not sure to handle all the "Nth Lead" templates. Perhaps we need another "breaking news" template to take care of all them? --Famine 01:43, 2 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Would anyone know where to add UnNews:Main Page/DifferentTake ? I assume it would be listed as a test page on the UnNews article. 02:46, 2 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Everything is just peachy

Okay, I've worked out the quirks and done the following:

General Specific 04:06, 2 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Once we get a SecondTopStory in, I think the page will end up pretty well formatted. We've got 11-12 lines free in the left column now, and that should fill it out nicely. However, we will be loosing several lines if we whack all the broken templates on the right. Any ideas?

If someone has the ambition, please do a better job on the Template:Donate than I did. I also don't know if we want to throw together a "sister sites" template for Uncyclopedia in general, or if we should just delete that link. Your thoughts? --Famine 13:32, 2 Aug 2005 (UTC)

I was actually think of doing a sister projects one, claiming wikipedia as UnSenseOfHumourary or something--Sir Elvis KUN | Talk 14:27, 2 Aug 2005 (UTC)
In addition, our "world" template(s) include Euthanasia, which currently just redirects to Undictionary:Euthanasia with a short blurb. I may get around to this later this week, but if anyone has the ambition, it would be nice to have at least a short blurb about the youth in asia being on a sperarate (anime) plane of existance or something. --Famine 13:49, 2 Aug 2005 (UTC)

I think we should consider moving the thirdtopstory ect to the left column as out recentnews section is always goin to be significantly shorter than Wikinews'--Sir Elvis KUN | Talk 14:56, 2 Aug 2005 (UTC)

wow. this. is. awesome. It's like the Onion but free and anyone can write for it! --Insertwackynamehere CUN 01:56, 6 Aug 2005 (UTC)

  • More like, it's like the Onion except mostly shit.
Sorry, we'll have to flog our professional writers a bit more to get them to produce better articles. I mean, that's what we pay them for, right? --Rcmurphy KUN 01:56, 11 Sep 2005 (UTC)
  • Hehe, yeah, yeah, I only get paid in floggings. --HPSigHP talk KUN Icons-flag-pi 15:16, 13 October 2006 (UTC)

RSS feeds

Just an idea, but do you think it would be useful to have RSS news feeds of this? Its good writing, and it might be fun to have an RSS feed. I don't know what is technically possible with mediawiki for rss feeds, but an externally hosted feed is definatly possible. --Paulgb Talk 02:14, 4 Aug 2005 (UTC)

This is possible: http://tunes.org/wiki/index.php?title=Special:Recentchanges&hideminor=1&feed=atom

yes yes yes. wikinews has a RSS feed so check it out--Whywhywhy 08:33, 21 Nov 2005 (UTC)


Sorry for the [probably ignorant] use of this page, just wondering if there's a policy for submitting stories. Will there also be various sections for news, ie Business, World, Technology, Science, Entertainment? An FAQ on UnNews would be superb. Distinction 01:17, 23 Oct 2005 (UTC)

There's no policy on adding stories, but there is a kind of initiation. If you can add a new top story to the hellishly complex template without totally screwing up the main page, then you've earned a place here. If you survive, that is. 'Cause it's a pretty spooky template. Yeah.
But other than that, you can do what you want. Enjoy!--Jordanus 03:17, 23 Oct 2005 (UTC)
Haha awesome. Once I get some kind of decent material I'll see if I can brave it. Thanks Distinction 04:34, 23 Oct 2005 (UTC)


This page reeaaaly needs to be protected. --Clorox Icons-flag-us MUN ONS (diskussion)

Article replacement procedure

After seeing countless new articles replaced or deleted prematurely, I've gone ahead and added a simple article replacement procedure to the edit page. Following this procedure will ensure that new articles are steadily bumped from top story, to second story, to archives, without being deleted quickly or remaining there too long. Hope it works out! --Jordanus 06:10, 30 Oct 2005 (UTC)

UNNews Section Proposal

I write a few UnNews articles here and there, and I would like to propose a section that highlights news stories from real news sources that basically sound like they were written here on UnNews by UnNews people. The idea is that they are real crap or just too hilarious to be true but really are or are just plain bizarre. Here are some examples-

http://nwanews.com/bcdr/News/29600/ ---> could be a Blue Meany attack



it never ends

etc, etc,etc...

...some may be mildy humorous and others are just wierd. I would suggest some sort of link format on the main page or link to another sub-UnNews page that would hold the real world bizarre news links...thoughts? Hawthorn Peebles 16:24, 3 Jan 2006 (UTC) iv made a template to state news sources. i like the idea of letting 2 mix but i dont care if they dont.--Da, Y?YY?YYY?:-:CUN3 NotM BLK |_LG8+::: 12:23, 19 January 2006 (UTC)

Vanity News

Should Vanity News be allowed? heres a sort of make up of sections idea

  • -Vanity News-(current affairs aka 60 minutes)
UnNews Logo Potato
This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.

--Da, Y?YY?YYY?:-:CUN3 NotM BLK |_LG8+::: 12:23, 19 January 2006 (UTC)

UnNews:NASA discovers Moon is actually giant pancake!

how do i get this turned into a real UnNews article? ... it looks like the technical bits have changed to be somewhat more like wikinews than the last time I wrote for UnNews ... --Nerd42Talk 18:07, 3 June 2006 (UTC)

It isn't an UnNews article now? You may just need to start an article using the functino over on the right-hand side of the Main Page--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 01:33, 4 June 2006 (UTC)


Please set correct 'ru' interwiki: [[ru:Абсурдопедия:Новости]] 09:32, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

UnNews VFH?

In a blatant display of self interest, I'll bring this up. If others have already, I apologize. My story on VFH (the one about Diogenes) seems to be losing traction for what seem to be legitimate objections to featuring UnNews on the front page. I know the earlier story about the Sea of Japan surrendering to North Korea was hurt for similar reasons. So I'll ask: Is there anything we can do, VFH-wise, on this page? I know it might hurt the whole Wikipedia satire, but it seems a shame that a lot of these good Israeli/Hezbollah articles (tip of the cap to Mordillo) might sink into obscurity.--Procopius 00:49, 21 July 2006 (UTC)

Template:RecentUnNews was supposed to be that... but um... yeah.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 04:06, 21 July 2006 (UTC)
I think that we should do an "UnNews:Year in Review" at some point. Because I agree, there are some fantastic articls which quickly drift into obscurity. However, once in awhile I skim back through the old articles, and have a good laugh. Perhaps a "Monthly Highlights" page? Bone_F_clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 13:58, 21 July 2006 (UTC)
I personally would like it if there was some way we could highlight the really awesome one's, like "Editor's Choice" asterisks, or something. Where you could leave an asterisk by an article you liked... er something. I dunno. Could be a thought. Kinda like that voting up and down we never got around to doing.  :)--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 14:37, 21 July 2006 (UTC)
I was thinking the same thing (a YIR or Month in Review would be good, too). Maybe one of you admins could pick a best of the week or something and list it accordingly. Another idea: The Pulitzers are given to several different stories, so maybe an award could be created for that (along with the Foolitzer for best writer).--Procopius 15:04, 21 July 2006 (UTC)

Reporter of the Month?

I've noticed that UnBooks has an Author of the Month, and Uncyclopedia has a Writer of the Month, and since there has been a lot of discussion as to whether or not feature UnNews articles, I'm suggesting we create a "Reporter of the Month" (or "Journalist of the Month") section for UnNews, that way, those who contribute to UnNews (who are rarely lauded for their contributions) can receive some much needed supplementary credit for their work. Is anybody else with me on this idea? --emc! 03:08, 1 August 2006 (UTC)

Down the memory hole

Ends of the months -- don'tcha hate 'em? Is it just me or has the whole UnNews July archive vanished? I can't remember whether we're at war with Eurasia or East Asia and I don't want to get my answers wrong -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 15:27, 1 August 2006 (UTC)


Should UnNews start running editorial pieces? Perhaps we could prefix them with Opinion:. Seems like it would be a fun expansion of UnNews. What do y'all think? Stan Lather 18:35, 24 August 2006 (UTC)

I want to make a news article

I would like to make a news article. Are users like me allowed to make fake news articles?

Cheddar Cheesia 19:05, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

EDIT: Hello? Would someone answer my question, please?

Cheddar Cheesia 19:18, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

Yep! At Uncyclopedia, anyone can make news TM. Just follow the directions under the "Start a new article" header on the right sidebar on the main UnNews page. Also, this isn't a chatroom - questions don't always get answered immediately, so you have to be patient. —rc (t) 19:21, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

Cool! Thanks!

Cheddar Cheesia 19:23, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

ha hah a

huuh haahahahahahah..............

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