UnNews talk:Local man drops vase

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This was the original UnNews of April 21, 2006. It was written by Hinoa, and was put here by someone who rewrote it for a stupid UnNews Pee Buddy Award contest in late April, 2012. Heads rolled, and some came to test alongside other heads. Aleister 1:39 30-4-'12


Oakland, CA—A local man is reported to have dropped a Ming dynasty vase at the local Pottery Barn earlier today. Bystanders were shocked at the man's apparent lack of caution and total disregard for the historic vessel.

"Personally, I can't believe that clod's total disregard for antiques," said antiques buff and insurance salesman Oliver Readington. "I mean, that vase had to be worth at least a million dollars, and this dolt drops it! I hope he steps on the shards in his bare feet.

The unfortunate man who dropped the vase, Rameses Murphy, has repeated his regret about dropping the vase several times. "I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry, I really am," he said while picking up the pieces. "I'll pay for this if I have to."

The Pottery Barn manager, Iris Draylin, said that Murphy really didn't have to do that. "I know it's called the Pottery Barn rule, but we have no such rule that if you break it, you have to buy it," she said. "It's just sometimes bad stuff like that happens."

It is still unknown what an ancient Ming dynasty vase was doing in a Pottery Barn in the first place. The most popular theory is that it was not known to be one until the unfortunate dropping of the vase.

For more on this story as it develops, check UnNews.

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