UnNews:Zsa Zsa Gabor saddened by Taylor death, goes on YouTube to make emo videos
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Zsa Zsa Gabor saddened by Taylor death, goes on YouTube to make emo videos
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, August 2, 2015, 19:09:UTC)(
26 March 2011
Gabor was in her room admiring old pictures of herself, when her husband Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt walked in and notified her of the sad news.
Zsa Zsa Gabor then created a YouTube account and began posting emo videos. Longtime fan Bradley Johns, 76, said, "When Zsa Zsa Gabor posts a video on YouTube you think 'oh boyi'd like to see it'. But when you start seeing bloody cuts on her face and arms, and her moaning and saying 'Tragedies come in threes, one pick, two pick, three pick', it just...feels kind of weird". At that moment Bradley Johns died of a heart attack. He was 76.
A most surprising statement came from Debbie Reynolds. "I honestly had no idea Zsa Zsa knows how to use a computer. She dosen't even have a fucking website. I do, you know. It's www.debbiereynolds.com. Don't forget to put a link there as well. It's a good website too..." As Reynolds kept rambling on for an hour about her website, Zsa Zsa had posted another video.
The video titled "Fasz ez, utálom mindenkinek, és hiányzik Erzsébet"  got 1734 views in the first half an hour. In the video she yelled at all workers and colleagues and celebreties, dead and alive.
She said this about Paris Hilton: "You are a bad bad bad girl, young woman. As your step great grandmother, I am very ashamed of you. Go to your room, and get your fatherto give you a spanking. SHAME!"
She also said about Charlie Sheen: "Fuck you bitch. Everyone's sick and tired of your irritating stoner whining. Winning, winning, winning. Stop being an immature bum, and get off the internet, troll. Either that, or i'll be reading about your overdose in a few days. That'll be losing, not winning."
Everyone was amazed at Zsa Zsa's statements. "Over Taylor's death?", said Bradley Johns, longtime fa...oh wait, he's supposed to be dead.
Zsa Zsa also gave away what her next accident will be: Getting a paper cut, then being rushed to the hospital because "it hurts and my husband Freddy's kisses won't make it better".
What will be next for Zsa Zsa (after the papercut)? Will she live for another six months? A week? A day? A minute? Who knows? Oh yeah, God knows.
- ↑ Go on Google Transalator if you are curious what it means